Trust
by Mayet
Summary: Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back. (I don't own H50)
1. Cracked

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**Chapter 1: Cracked**

"You lied to me! You withheld information – on my own own mother!"

He'd hissed at her, inches from her face, not two minutes after she'd gotten home that night. Catherine was trapped between Steve's rigid body, sizzling with furious energy, and the wall against which he held her by her shoulders. His grip was strong enough to be painful; it would leave marks in the morning. That's how she knew that this was for real, that there was no point in trying to fight with him over this. He was too mad at her, and had already made up his mind. They'd fought before, but he'd never been violent, at least not towards her, and to be quite honest, this darker side of him scared her a bit. Knowing that resistance would only ignite his anger further and may spur him to do something drastic, she relaxed in his grip. She became pliant to signal that she didn't want to fight.

"She asked me not to tell you about her and Mangosta. What was I supposed to do?", she asked him as calmly as she could while her heart was racing inside her chest. He was so mad, and she was afraid of losing him.

"Tell her no?!" Steve's voice had gone up incredulously, wondering how she could even ask about something so obvious. He felt betrayed. He'd always thought he could trust Catherine, and now it turned out she'd been lying to him for months. "Instead of lying to me."

"I didn't lie," she insisted, though it was a technicality and it would only make him angrier. At this point, she didn't think it really mattered anymore, but she was desperate for him to know that she would never lie to his face. "I may not have told you everything, but I wasn't lying, and if you had asked I would have told you."

Steve huffed, but let her go. Something flickered over his face, and Catherine's gut clenched when she thought she could identify it as disgust. He moved away from her, stepping back and raising his arms up in surrender. He was bristling with anger. He couldn't even look at her as silence encompassed them in the twilight of the room. He'd left most of the lights out, only one lamp shining dimly in the corner, creating an interplay of light and shadows along the walls. When he finally looked at her again, his demeanor was calmer, but she could still sense the anger boiling underneath the surface.

"Is that supposed to make it all better?", he asked, chuckling humorlessly. "You didn't tell me, but you wouldn't have lied to me if I had asked. What else haven't you told me about, because I didn't ask... Who else..."

He let that accusation hang in the air, watching as it was her turn to bristle. Her eyes narrowed at him in anger at the insinuation.

"I'm not gonna dignify that with an answer," she told him, gathering what was left of her self-confidence and pride around her like a shield.

"Then you can go."

She wasn't surprised by this turn of events; she'd been expecting something along those lines ever since this conversation started. When he'd told her that he'd hired a private detective to track his mother, she'd been aware that this fight was a possibility, though she'd still had confidence that Doris wouldn't reveal herself since she'd made Steve's old friend as a tale on the same day the man had gotten started on the job. Clearly, Mick had been more successful with a direct approach. Pressing her lips together, she grabbed her purse. She was glad she'd never left much here in the first place; Catherine didn't think she could endure having to pack it all up in this unforgiving silence.

Steve turned away from her. He was shutting her out, obviously expecting her to just leave now that everything was said and done as far as he was concerned. Well, he had something else coming, then. She wasn't done talking yet. They'd known each other for seven years. He could at least afford her the courtesy of letting her explain herself. He owed her that much. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, and because she was in desperate need of oxygen from having forgotten how to breathe for a bit there, she took a step closer to him. She was standing beside him now, and he turned his head away from her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"She asked me to keep her secret, and I said yes. Maybe I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry that I hurt you with my choice, but I'm not the only one who withheld information, am I?", she asked him. "I read about your imprisonment and escape in the newspapers when I got back. I found out about your trip to North Korea when I heard about Joe White's court-martial through the Navy grapevine. I was told about Wo Fat's involvement in the murder of your father and the purported murder of your mother when you asked me to help you protect her after he escaped from prison, and it was Danny who told me you'd been to Japan to find Shelburne."

She paused to let it sink in.

"You may think that none of this affected me personally, but you're wrong. You were involved in every one of those cases, and that made it personal for me. And I'm tired of your double standards," she informed him quietly. "I didn't tell you about what your mother had gotten up to with Mangosta, because you'd only just found her again, and I didn't want one of the first things you learn about her to be that she was capable of torturing someone without batting an eyelash."

Seeing a shadow move in the corner, she turned towards it, and saw Doris come to a stand in the doorway to the kitchen. If she'd been there the entire time, the woman had probably heard their whole argument loud and clear. She must have also heard the dislike in Catherine's tone of voice when speaking about her actions when the Navy officer had found her. Steadying her look on Doris, and not backing down, she made it clear that she had meant every word, before turning on her heel and making her way to the door. Just before she exited the living room, she turned back to her friend and lover of seven years once more.

"Goodbye, Steve," she whispered sadly.

When he heard the door click shut, he made his way slowly to the nearest window overlooking the street. He watched as Catherine made her way to her blue Corvette, which, contrary to Danny's Camaro, he'd never been allowed to drive. Unable to take his eyes of her form, he was left looking out even minutes after she'd driven away. Steve rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window, hoping it would calm the burning inside of him. He was mad as hell at her for lying to him, and for having the gall to argue semantics in regard, but sending her away had cost him a great deal of strength, too. He was still torn between his rage and the wish to call her back and hold her to him, asking her forgiveness for the way he'd treated her.

Especially in the beginning. He'd never felt such an all-consuming rage as when he'd faced her earlier. He'd always trusted her, and when it had turned out that she'd gone behind his back, the ground had been ripped out from beneath his feet. In his anger he'd let his control slip, and turned forceful against her. He could still feel her shoulders in his hands as he'd squashed her against the wall. His fingers had dug into her skin, and he was sure she'd be bruised tomorrow. He had known while it was happening that he was hurting her, but he'd been unable to feel remorse or compassion. The guilt only hit him when she'd gone completely lax against him, and looked at him as if waiting for him to do whatever he pleased with her. As angry as he'd been with her, he'd been disgusted with himself. That was not how he'd been raised to treat women, much less someone he cared about. And he did care about Cath, even if he'd lost sight of the feeling for a bit. He could see the indentations where his fingernails had dug into her skin as he backed away.

He'd retracted his hand and put several feet between them, hoping it would be enough to make him refrain from hurting her again. He'd fought down his anger to a less dangerous level, but it had raged and boiled in wait just underneath his carefully constructed facade of calmness. He couldn't forgive or forget, not so soon after her betrayal. Maybe he'd never get over it, but he needed time to process it, and he wanted her gone and away from him for the time being. He could barely look at her. He'd counted on her, and she'd let him down. Had helped her mother in lying to and deceiving him. He couldn't understand how she could do that to him. Her explanation seemed like an array of jumbled words. He understood what she was saying, but the meaning didn't sink in. It didn't mean anything; it was not a good enough reason.

_Is there a good enough reason_, he wondered.

"Steve?", a feminine voice asked him, and he was involuntarily reminded of her parting words. Her tone of voice had sounded so defeated, so final, and yet so full of love, it had made him shudder. She'd said she was tired of his double standards; the admission of her personal anguish at his troubles had touched him, reminded him of their deep connection. At the time he'd just been trying to protect her from the darker aspects of his life. When he'd still been a SEAL, he'd never told her about his missions (classified as they were), and she'd never asked. She simply held him and comforted him. He hadn't considered that his change in lifestyle might require a change in policy, so he'd never talked to her about work unless he needed her. Now she was tired of his double standards. Maybe she wasn't simply accepting of his sending her away, but likewise fleeing from his presence...

"Steve?", the voice spoke again. He felt a hand coming to rest on his upper arm, and looked down to see it was his mother's. "Don't blame her. She'd just seen me electroshock someone. She wasn't thinking clearly. I used that to make her promise me that-"

"Don't," he warned his mother, lifting a hand to shut her up, and shrugging off her touch. "Don't make excuses for her. She's not as helpless or impressionable as you may think she is – as you're making her out to be. She could knock you down and tie you up, and you wouldn't know what hit you until after she's done. She deliberately betrayed me. I can't trust her, and that means I can't have her in my house."

"Steve."

"As a matter of fact, I want you gone, too. First thing in the morning. You died. This hasn't been your house in twenty years. It's Mary's and my house now, and I want you to leave."

**End of chapter 1!**

**A/N:** This story is gonna start off in a very different style from my other H50 story. I wanted to experiment a little, so the fanfic is going to be of episodic nature for a while. Don't worry, though, we'll get to a more wholesome storytelling later on.

I base Catherine's lack of knowledge on Wo Fat on the season 1 episode in which Steve's chap box gets stolen, and he says "I speak to the people in this room... and to my sister". The people in the room with him were Danny, Chin and Kono which excludes Catherine. Question is didn't he tell her to shelter her, or because he didn't think she was important enough to know?


	2. Broken

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**Chapter 2: Broken**

They'd had the place surrounded for a while now. Everyone was in position waiting for a signal from Five-0 to rush the residents, and get the kids held inside to safety. Unfortunately, their Intel was mediocre at best, and the team was hesitant to have cops storm in as that could put the victims into harm's way. They'd requested infrared cameras, but the imagery wasn't exactly helpful as it consisted merely of an indistinguishable mass of mostly red and yellow. It was simply impossible to distinguish singular persons from a ground view. They needed eagle-eye perspective imagery, and they knew it.

Which is why Danny had been watching Steve staring at his phone for the last couple of minutes without touching a single key. His friend's normally stoic face displayed a myriad of emotions in that short time that washed over it so quickly that Danny was starting to get whiplash, even though he couldn't manage to follow them all. He raised an eyebrow at the man who debated calling his not-girlfriend for minutes on end, and wondered not for the first time what he'd done to screw up so badly that he couldn't even type in her number.

"What's it with you lately?", he finally asked, unable to hold it in any longer. Steve's gaze raised to meet his. "Any other time you would have called Ramboette ages ago, so what's the big fuss now? What have you done? It can't be that your weekend with her got blown up by a case again, 'cause she must be used to that by now."

"Danny..."

"Come to think of it, you've been off for a while now. Ever since she got that surprise call back to the Enterprise, and left in the middle of her leave. Don't tell me you can't stand it when duty calls her for a change?!"

Steve's gaze slid back down to the phone in his hand, and he caressed his thumb over it carefully. Danny's other eyebrow joined its partner near his hairline. The expression on SuperSEAL's face was somewhere between anger and guilt, an expression he'd seen on the man's face quite a lot recently, but had never been able to place. Figured it had something to do with his Navy lady, and Danny was suddenly overcome by suspicion. Not only had Steve not called her to get Intel for this case, he'd not talked about her at all. That wouldn't have been all that concerning as his friend was a very private person, but he'd also been even more focused on his work lately, more willing to take risks, more reckless. Danny had simply assumed he was upset about Catherine having to leave before her vacation was over, but...

"That is why she left, right? Right?!", Danny asked almost desperately. When Steve didn't answer, he felt like cursing. What had the Neanderthal done now?! Just as Danny opened his mouth to ask exactly that, Steve finally decided to brave whatever storm he knew was coming, and dialed. Danny's breath got stuck in his throat, but he scrambled for the phone, and put it on speaker anyway. This he needed to hear, no matter how much SuperSEAL glared at him. Said man was about to turn the telephone loudspeaker off again when the connection clicked, and Catherine's voice reached them through the line.

"No."

Danny closed his eyes. One word from her was enough to tell him how bad things had gone between Steve and Catherine.

"Cath, I need thermal imagery of a warehouse. I wouldn't call if it weren't important," Steve told her quietly.

"Are you trying to get me court-martialed?", she retorted with a snort. "Anyway, I already said no. Naval Intelligence is not your personal source of information, and I'm not your secretary."

Steve closed his eyes.

"Cath, please..."

"And don't call me 'Cath', we're not that close anymore. Or at all; you made that perfectly clear the last time we spoke," she chided coldly. "You showed me the door without even giving me a chance to answer to your accusations. As justified as your anger was, I don't think I deserved to have to force you to listen to me before being thrown out, and I don't think I deserved to be manhandled either. No news from you afterward, you wouldn't even answer my calls, and now you want a favor. You don't get to call me for favors."

She didn't hang up after her rant, which Steve thought very lucky. He sighed loudly, and ran a hand over his face, and through his hair in frustration. He could feel Danny's gaze burning into him full of concern, anger and questions. Mostly questions. They were definitely talking about this later, but right now the children were more important. He had to convince Catherine to do him one last favor to save the kids.

"Catherine, listen, please... We've surrounded a warehouse where an auction is about to go off. A human auction. They're selling girls and young women to rich business men from overseas. We've got infrared cameras, but we can't distinguish bidders and kidnappers from the victims. They just appear as one big lump of color. Please, we need satellite imagery."

He inhaled deeply, waiting for her answer. As the silence stretched he could almost see her bite her lip in contemplation. The thought of kids being sold as slaves would make anyone pause and think twice, but he also knew that he was asking her a lot. Even leaving out their recent history, every time she accessed military equipment for him, she put her career at risk. At worst she could be court-martialed, and lose everything she had worked so hard to achieve. No dinner could make up for that, no matter whether they had made it to dinner or not. They never had, and she knew it, too. He wondered if she thought that was the only reason he ever called her, the only reason he owed her 'favors'. He contemplated that for a second, but after everything they'd gone through before... well, before, Catherine had to know that she meant something to him. She had to know.

"Catherine...", he spoke up again. It was out of his mouth before he realized it. A part of him wanted to ask her, but was unsure of what to say.

"You're such a bastard, McGarrett," she said, and hung up.

He let his head fall. This was it. Seven years of friendship, and he'd managed to destroy it all in one night. Her lie aside, this was a mess of his own creation. Seven years of friendship, and this was what it amounted to after he let his anger go unchecked one evening. He still didn't understand what had happened that night, or why he had snapped, but he couldn't blame her for being mad as hell at him. His trust had been abused, and so he'd abused her in return, destroying what trust she had held in him for so many years. She was right; he was a bastard, and he couldn't fault her for wanting nothing to do with him anymore.

"What was that?" Danny's words and his sharp tone brought him out of his reverie.

Steve shook his head to clear it completely. He had a job to do, and needed to focus.

"Not now, Danny. We can't wait anymore. If we don't act now, the sales will be over, and they'll disperse and relocate somewhere else. Any chance those girls have is now. We're moving in."

That shut Danny up, though the terse nod he gave Steve indicated clearly that they would be talking about it later. Steve was about to give the sign to act when the beeping of his phone distracted him. He looked down, and found that he had a new message from Catherine Rollins. Opening it, he relocated the attached files to his tablet, and opened them to reveal excellent thermal satellite imagery of the warehouse they were about to storm into. His eyes flicked back to the text she's send him. It made his heart clench with gratitude and regret.

'Don't ask again.'

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Steve and Danny overlooked the final clean-up of the mission. Young women and girls were being escorted to medical facilities by police officers who were both relieved and proud that they had been able to save them. Others shoved cuffed abductors and richly dressed foreign buyers into the back of police cars none to gently. The raid had been a complete success. The girls were traumatized of course, and a few showed some bruising, but none had been killed or severely hurt, so Five-0 and HPD counted it as a success.

Abruptly, Steve turned away from the scene, and walked toward Danny's car, the Jersey detective hot on his heels. The former Navy SEAL knew that he wasn't getting out of the discussion Danny had promised him, but they didn't need to have it in the middle of the last vestiges of a police raid where all their colleagues and quite a few bad guys could overhear it. Steve had parked Danny's car a bit out of the way of the other police cars, so he went over there, and leaned against the door waiting for his partner to catch up with him.

"I'm assuming you want an explanation now," he said when Danny reached him.

Making a face, and spreading his arms, Danny nodded. "Yeah, I mean, that would be nice. I mean, it didn't sound like an endearment when she called you a bastard, and Catherine doesn't strike me as someone who'd normally insult her not-boyfriends for asking for a favor. She's never done it before now, so in blatant self-interest regarding my chances of survival an explanation would be appreciated."

Steve looked away.

"We had a fight."

"You don't say!", Danny retorted. "I figured that one out by myself already."

"Danno, will you shut up, so I can tell you, please?!", Steve pleaded emphatically. Since Steve was not one to truly ask for anything, especially when the sentence involved the word 'please', Danny decided to give him the time to explain in his own words, symbolically zipping his mouth. At his nod of encouragement, Steve rolled his eyes, and continued. "I... You know I don't trust my mother. I think she's hiding something, so I set an old friend from my SEAL days on my her case. He's become a private investigator, and I asked him to follow her around. She made him as a tail, but he managed to get into her good graces anyway, and found out that my mother had... tortured Mangosta when he thought he'd caught up with her. Catherine had apparently found her doing that, and stopped it. My mother asked her not to tell me, and she agreed."

Danny could see Steve's hands clench into fists. Retelling this episode clearly angered and pained him still. When Steve continued about how he had found out that Catherine had betrayed him, every muscle in his body seemed to tense up, and Danny could see a cold fury burning in his eyes, before all of a sudden it was washed away by guilt and desperation. He'd seen his partner go through similar stages while staring at his phone, but now they seemed much more intense. He'd trusted Catherine more than anyone, probably more than himself, and finding out that she'd worked together with his mother to withhold the truth from him must have hurt immensely. Especially when he'd asked her to help him on his mother's case.

"Why did she say she did that?", Danny asked once Steve was done.

"Some BS about protecting me from darker aspects of my mother's character. She didn't want me to know the woman could happily torture someone. As if I didn't know that already. She's a former intelligence officer, after all."

"So is Catherine," slipped out of Danny's mouth before he could stop it. Afterward he wanted to bite his tongue off. Steve's gaze darted to him, then away again.

"That's different," he said, but it didn't sound very convincing. Also, Danny didn't think Catherine trying to protect him was BS. Sure, logically Steve must have known that his mother was capable of quite a few unpleasant things – between killing Wo Fat's father, and faking her own death through a car bombing, she was bound to be cold-blooded – but to witness it first hand, or hear about it actually happening from someone you trusted?! Those were two very different things. Deep down Steve probably knew that, too, Danny was sure of it. He just didn't see it through the cloud of his anger. Danny thought about pointing it out at him, but he had more important matters to attend to as he recalled another part of the conversation.

"What exactly did she mean when she said you manhandled her?", he asked, his blood running cold. He'd seen Steve fight several times, and knew that he had absolutely no problem with breaking a bone here and there in their suspects, and he's certainly done a number on Danny's finger when they first met, but he hadn't known Danny for more than five minutes then. It was completely out of the ballpark that he would hurt Catherine or anyone of the people he cared about. He watched Steve close his eyes forcefully, and his head hung a little lower on his neck when he answered.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Aboard the USS Enterprise, Catherine was done with her shift, and ready to get some sleep. The last couple of days had been stressful enough as they searched for what's-his-name, number five on the black list, so that their special ops could take him in, or take him out. She'd had blasted little sleep this week, and Steve calling her today had put the icing on the cake, making her day even more emotionally draining than it would have been anyway. Ever since that night she felt drained anyway. She felt empty when she was at work, and she was just going through the moves.

When work was done, and she had nothing to distract her with, she felt like she was bleeding from a wound that wouldn't close. She was losing herself in the pain of a limb that wasn't even their anymore, their relationship. She wondered sometimes if it had ever been there in the first place, wondered if theirs had even been a relationship at all. They'd started out as ships passing in the night, and maybe they'd never moved too far away from that despite all the laughter, and the cuddles, and the caring. She shook her head. It was idle to contemplate the state of a former relationship, and she couldn't go another night without sleep.

Her roommate, LT Sanders, would probably skin and behead her if she kept her up with her tossing and turning again. She couldn't help it, though. She couldn't stop thinking, couldn't stop hurting, and it kept her awake. That she barely ate didn't help either. Navy food wasn't as bad as its reputation, but these days she could barely look at it without feeling an instant revulsion. Maybe she had gotten too used to Kamekona's excellent shrimp dishes on her extended leave. She couldn't seem to find her appetite as if she'd forgotten it ashore when she'd tried to pick up the pieces of her heart, and glue them back together sufficiently to be able to concentrate on her job, before it turned out that work was the glue that kept them together, only to let them fall apart every time she stopped.

There was a knock on her door. She got up from her cot as she told the visitor to enter. A young ensign made his way into the room, and stood at attention. Surprised by his visit, because she certainly didn't know him, and Laura Sanders looked at him strangely, too, she guessed that hew as here with them on some official business. Before she could contemplate what might have happened, the ensign spoke up.

"LT Rollins, Commander Clarke wants to see you in the infirmary immediately."

She dismissed the ensign, and turned to her roommate.

"Is there a reason, the surgeon wants to see me?", she asked.

"I was worried about you, Rollins. You haven't slept properly since you got aboard, and kept me awake the first couple of nights with your sobbing, too. When you do sleep, it's restless, and has you tossing around on your cot enough to wake both of us, and I have yet to see you eat a full meal. You're a mess, and I'm worried, so I told him – in confidence."

"You know he can't help me. This isn't a medical problem."

"Maybe, maybe not, but he's the closest thing we have on board to a psychologist. Maybe he can talk some sense into you, so you'll at least eat and sleep when you're supposed to. Prescribing sleeping pills would not hurt either. Maybe he can at least help you with that."

**End of chapter 2!**

**A/N:** In case you're wondering, yes, I intend to make them very miserable before I start patching them back up ( i.e. together) because I think that it had to get worse/hit the bottom before it can get better.

These chapters were inspired - in style - by the snapshots we are shown at the beginning of NCIS episodes. The way my first drafts for future chapters are developing, there will be four or five of these snapshots in total.


	3. Shattered

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**To Runner043:** After you mentioned it in your review, i thought about adding a conversation between Doris and Catherine into the story for a bit, and I've come up with a rough draft, but It's not going to happen until well into the story. So it's going to be a while yet, but we'll get there. I hope you like it when it comes.

**To Gone2Far:** That is truly a great compliment that you decided to read something that wouldn't normally be up your alley because you enjoy my writing. Thank you so much.

**Chapter 3: Shattered**

He felt a pang in his chest as they entered the ballroom. It was filled with dancing couples, smiling and laughing and generally having a good time. Something that would take a tragic end very soon, considering that the dancing lessons and festivities were merely a front for the local drug ring. The crooks sure had gotten more inventive. Gone were the laundry cleaning empires and the pizza parlors. Instead they had opted to hide behind a front of happy civilians with no idea what was going on right behind their backs. He made a face as they approached the bar to get a good viewpoint. He let his gaze wander over the crowd looking for a particular couple that had been here all evening, and not for the first time. As he spotted his friends in the middle of their fluid shuffle at the back of the crowd, he felt another pang, and hastily averted his eyes to take a swig from his beer.

"Something wrong, McGarrett?", his colleague asked from beside him.

"Yeah, everything's good," he answered in a subdued tone that didn't convince anyone.

Chin watched him for a moment.

"You sure? You've got a face as if somebody just kicked your puppy," he said, knowing it wasn't the best pun on Steve's SEAL nickname, but it got the man's attention as his head snapped up to look at him. The raw emotion in Steve's eyes made Chin want to take a step back. He wasn't blind; he had noticed how detached Steve had been recently, but for a split second, his eyes expressed such a deep pain that it made him feel physically sick. In the next moment it was gone, and Steve had turned back to the crowd, watching as the couples swayed to the music. His eyes were glazed over, though, and Chin doubted that he was seeing them as something else, some distant memory danced in front of him.

"Yeah, I'm good. It's just... Catherine always loved dancing," slipped out of Steve's mouth before he could help it. He bit his lip, wanting to kick himself afterward. This was not the time to be thinking about that. His mind just couldn't seem to let it be water under the bridge. Everything these days seemed to remind him of her. "Never mind. We've got a job to do. Let's get back to that."

He made that decision just in time to come back to reality, and see two islanders disappear through the pearl curtain into the hallway where the offices were situated. They waited another couple of minutes, quietly observing a few more couples as they moved behind the drape. Steve and Chin made their way in that direction, carefully wading through the innocent people on the dance floor until Steve abruptly stopped, making Chin run into him. Seeing his boss was frozen on the spot, he followed Steve's line of sight to a dancing couple a few feet ahead of them.

The man was tall with shortly cropped sand-colored hair. He was well-built, and wore his tux with a certain dignity that told Chin he was either in the government, a law firm or the military. When Chin's gaze strayed to the woman with him, he realized it had been her that Steve had been staring at. Her long dark hair loose around her shoulders, flowing around her just as her emerald green dress did gently with every movement, and giving the sandy-haired man a brilliant smile, was the object of his boss' torment. Catherine wasn't aware of their presence yet, though if they ever wanted to reach that pearly curtain they'd have to move past them. She was merely enjoying herself on a night out with a handsome man for company who was twirling her around enthusiastically, making her giggle in the process. Chin truly felt for his boss; this was certainly not something he'd expected or wanted to come across so shortly after their fight over the phone (Danny was a tattletale, at least when it came to anything regarding Steve).

The necessity to put a stop to this drug ring made Chin step beside his boss, and put a firm hand onto his shoulder blade. Nearly jumping at the contact, Steve was brought out of his stupor, and shook his head to clear it. He looked at Chin who indicated the back of the ballroom with an inclination of his head. Then he looked ahead again to where Catherine was clearly enjoying her date. Steve closed his eyes, and set his jaw before pushing forward through the crowd. As they passed Catherine and her date, Steve leaned his head slightly in a different direction, but there was no missing her surprise as she recognized him. She and her partner stopped dancing in mid-motion, and while her hands clenched, gripping the other man tightly, he merely raised an inquisitive and somewhat challenging eyebrow at McGarrett as he drew her closer. Steve's jaw clenched and his hands balled into fists but he ignored his instinctive desire to rip his woman out of that man's arms, and just pushed on – not least of all because Chin still had a hand on his shoulder guiding him forwards until Danny and Kono could join them. Steve threw Danny a glance to see if he had known that Catherine was there, and the man had the decency to look guilty.

They made it through the pearl drape without looking back; a feat Steve found quite extraordinary seeing as he could have sworn to have heard Catherine softly whisper his name as they left her behind them. It was to the great misfortune of the guards posted that Steve was the first to breach their perimeter as he was in no mood to be trifled with. Subsequently, both burly men were on the ground and unconscious before anyone else had properly passed through the curtain. They burst into the office just as the ballroom's owner, his two goonies, and three 'couples' were exchanging cash for cocaine. Everyone raised their hands as they came face to face with the governor's task force and their guns. They'd brought extra cuffs from the HPD officers waiting for them outside, and Steve had Danny call them inside as Kono and Chin cuffed the men.

Kono was about to cuff the head of the whole organization as he took advantage of her cover outfit, easily tipped her off balance in her heels, and threw her into McGarrett and Danny. Immediately, he made a dash for it. Steve had instinctively caught Kono as she stumbled towards them, but now he quickly left Danny to stabilize her as he went after the guy. He dashed out the door, and froze when he saw Catherine and her date standing in the hallway. Apparently they had followed them, though he wasn't entirely surprised. She had never managed to stay out of trouble very well ever since they'd met. His eyes locked with hers, and she too seemed frozen which in some part of his brain gave Steve quite a scare as there was a violent drug dealer running towards her with nothing but Goldilocks standing in his way.

The drug dealer made a grab for the obvious target; that is, the woman standing still as a statue in her heels and knee-length green dress. Before the shock could induce either Catherine or Steve to act, her blonde date had already stepped in, grabbed and twisted the guy until he was a mass of tangled arms and legs on the floor. In some corner of his mind Steve registered Danny's appreciative whistle as the mainland detective moved forward to finally cuff the scumbag, another part of him was certainly impressed by the guy's skill, but mostly the former SEAL was too confused to properly react to any aspect of the situation. He just continued to stare at Catherine, and when that became to uncomfortable, he turned his head in every direction surveying the room as it was slowly flooded by law enforcement agents.

"We'll handle this, boss," Chin told him in passing as he and the HPD officers led the criminals away until there was no one left in the hallway. The only noise apart from their breathing came from the office where crime lab personnel was bagging the evidence. Steve finally managed to look back to Catherine who was taking a hesitant step towards him as she was being gently shoved from behind. Steve frowned. He didn't need Goldilocks to do him any favors, and he shouldn't push Catherine either. If they wanted to talk to each other, they would. As awkward as this was Steve really didn't want to, but couldn't seem to move from where he stood or turn his back on the beautiful woman in front of him.

"Steve," she spoke up, the word barely audible even in the quiet of the hallway.

He looked up at her. Her beautiful face was strained with an expression he did not know. He could tell she was nervous and fearful, and guilt settled inside him when he thought that she might be afraid of him. Afraid of what he'd do to her this time. This was the first time they spoke face to face since he'd thrown her out of his house. That same night he'd turned on her in anger. It made him feel sick to his stomach that it might still affect her so. His hands wanted to clench beside him again but he forced them to relax. If she truly were already afraid of his violent streak, it would only worsen the situation.

Meanwhile, Catherine was fidgeting where she stood. Her hands had taken hold of her dress, fingering it carelessly as if trying to hold onto something and not finding anything more solid now that she was half-way between the two men standing in the hallway with her. She pressed her lips together trying to find the words to talk to him, explain to him. This wasn't how she had envisioned their next conversation if she'd ever been unable to avoid thinking about it at all. She knew that with the way things had ended, they wouldn't get out of talking things through more calmly. However, now there was even more to talk about. Now was not the best time, and this was definitely not the place but if she didn't tell him now, she might never find the courage to.

"Steve," she said again as she set her eyes on his face. "I need you to know..."

She gestured between them helplessly, and Steve's eyes closed forcefully. She couldn't really feel the need to explain this, could she? As if he didn't know they were over, well-and-truly over in fact. He did not need her to spell it out for him, nor did he require her to explain herself or tell him about her date with Goldilocks, about how they'd met or how she'd come to replace him so quickly after they'd broken up. He didn't want to hear explanations of how unexpected it had been, of how she had not planned to just wash her hands of him. The guilty-feeling part of him couldn't blame her for wanting to move on and forget all about him as soon as possible. The other part wondered angrily how she could do that to him, how she could act so callously as if the last seven years had been meaningless. He didn't want to hear. He just wanted to get out of here, to leave her behind, and never look back. Forget all about her as she had obviously forgotten about him.

"Save it, Catherine," he hissed, anger rising unbidden in his throat. "I know, okay. There's no need to explain anything. I already know, and I don't care. If you wanted to give me details, don't bother. I don't wanna know. I don't want anything to do with it."

Her face drained of color, and her expression turned into a mask of pain. He took a deep breath, and pushed forward.

"I just want to rid myself of it all." _All the memories – good and bad_, he thought. _Everything that connects me to you, and makes this hurt so goddamn much because I don't know how to go on otherwise_.

He set one foot in front of the other mechanically as he moved passed her and her date. He needed to go outside, and check on the prisoners. The faster he could get out, the faster he could leave this mess behind. As he moved, so did Goldilocks. He stepped forward to envelop Catherine in a tight, protective hug, and send the former SEAL a look cold enough to freeze a volcano. Steve had been at the receiving end of those glares often enough that it didn't faze him much. This man meant nothing to him, so why should his anger bother him. Catherine on the other hand initially showed no reaction to his words at all. As he passed her, though, he could see her flinch away from him and further into the other man's embrace.

The last thing he saw before they were out of sight, was how the strong, beautiful woman he knew curled into herself in another man's embrace as she quietly but thoroughly fell to pieces. The sound of her sobs would stay with him for moths.

**End of chapter 3!**

**A/N:** Let me say that not all is as it seems, but this is definitely not a do-over of the Ben Foster storyline from Love is not enough - no matter what Steve thinks. All is not what is seems!


	4. Lost

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**Chapter 4 : Lost**

_He stood in that backroom, gun drawn and observing carefully as Kono handcuffed the dealers and the customers one by one. Or at least he was trying to. Seeing Catherine had rattled his already fragile consciousness. After that call, after her text, he'd been understandably guilt-ridden and rather out of it. Mere weeks later he told himself he was fine, getting better in any case, and that given time he'd get completely over her. He didn't think about her as often; he completely avoided thinking about what or who she might do these days, in fact. _

_So, naturally, when he'd seen her dancing with her sandy-haired Adonis, happy, smiling, laughing like she'd always laughed for him as he twirled her around to a fast beat, he'd been completely thrown. His balance point had seemed to shift and his entire world had been thrown off kilter. He hadn't expected to see her again, and he sure as hell hadn't been ready to see her – especially in good-looking male company. Male company that only seemed to have eyes for her, and she'd been so distracted by Goldilocks that she hadn't even noticed him until he was right there in front of her. Then she'd been as shocked as he had been. Only Chin's guiding hand had got him to move again, even as jealousy, rage and a sense of possessiveness had made its way through his body to clench his heart in an unforgiving grip._

_The sudden movement of one of the dealers, throwing Kono off and running right past him, made him snap back to reality. Before he'd even had time to think about it, he had turned on his heel, and run after the bastard. Once outside the backroom, he realized his mistake, and understood how dearly it might cost him. Catherine and her Adonis had obviously followed him through the pearly curtain, because the scumbag he was following now had one arm wound around the dark-haired woman, hand getting too familiar with what body parts he could reach without letting her go. The other hand had procured a knife, and was holding it to her throat. A thin red trickle was already flowing down her alabaster white throat, marring her emerald green dress._

No_, he thought looking at her sandy-haired companion, _this is not what happened. Why didn't Goldilocks help her this time?

_Goldilocks seemed angry, perhaps at not having intervened. He was poised and his muscles tense; he was ready to jump. Catherine was a different matter. All color seemed to have drained from her face, and she was shaking from head to toe. This was not the strong, independent woman he knew. This was a frail, vulnerable shadow that needed his protection. He wondered what was wrong with her, what had her so scared that she hadn't reacted when he came at her. Under normal circumstances, the guy would be in dire need of a hospital right about now, but Catherine was just standing there. Her eyes were pleading him with, a single tear running down her cheek; she was scared, she couldn't move, and she needed him to save her._

_A gunshot. He'd fired his weapon in a moment that the bastard was talking to him, pointing the knife in his direction instead of at Catherine's throat. The bullet hit the man in the head sending him flying backwards while Catherine ducked away from his loosening grip. He went over to her, and enveloped her in his arms; Goldilocks raised an eyebrow, but shrugged and went over to check the criminal for vital signs instead. _

_Catherine was distraught, crying in his arms and clinging to him as if he were her lifeline. He was kissing her hair, and she was telling him how much she loved him, and he thought that maybe the other memories were just a bad dream. This was a much better way for it to go. This was how it should have gone – with him and Catherine reuniting. Maybe now he could make it all up to her, apologize for what a jackass he'd been, and make her forget she ever met Goldilocks. He thought that maybe everything would be alright now when suddenly her scream of pain made his head snap up._

_He was no longer holding her. Instead he was standing in front of her the way he had in his memories, so close yet so far away. Adonis was standing a couple of feet behind her, but he was hastily closing in as Catherine was breaking apart, curling in on herself in the pain he'd caused with his heartless words. Only, he realized with a look down, that this time it had not been mere words. She wasn't curling into a fetal position against her lover's chest, she was stumbling back toward him, falling onto the ground in a pool of her own blood. She was crying even harder and whimpering in pain and looking at Steve like she couldn't believe he'd do this to her. There was so much anger and hurt and betrayal in her eyes. A bewildered gaze at his hand had him gasp. His hand was holding the knife of the perp, and it was coated in her blood. _

_He'd stabbed her. Right in the heart._

With a scream, Steve woke up. Sitting upright in his bed, he turned on the lights to look at his hands. They were clean. Catherine's blood was not sticking to his skin or dripping from his fingertips. He ran his hands over his face, panting with exertion. The nightmare had made his heart race, and it was still pumping away - too fast to be healthy. He was shivering in the cool night air as his body seemed near feverishly hot, tangled in his sweat-soaked sheets. He let himself fall back into the mattress, but he knew he would not find another minute of sleep that night.

She'd looked agonized enough to have been stabbed when he'd last talked to her. She'd cried, she'd sobbed, she'd tried to curl up into a protective fetal position. Her whole body had been wrecked by the pain he'd caused with his callous words. He hadn't meant for them to have that drastic an effect, but he couldn't listen to what she'd had to say. He couldn't have withstood knowing more details about the new man in her life. Still, guilt manifested itself inside him again, as it did every time he thought about what he'd done to her. Her pain still haunted him, even two and a half months later.

"What have I done?", he whispered into the night, but the darkness remained silent.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

"You know I can't give you any details, sir," the woman reminded her commanding officer gently as he had queried for one of his subordinate's state. She saw the Captain sigh as he stood from his seat, and came around his desk to lean on it heavily. He set his gaze on her face, and nodded grimly once, accepting the answer. Yet, the Commander could not shake the feeling that they would be treading very thin ice during the remainder of the conversation.

"I'm not asking for details, Commander Klesko, merely for an objective evaluation – as far as you can tell me – and your proposed course of action."

Commander Klesko pressed her lips together. Her hands were somewhat twisted in the cap she was holding. This was not an easy case, and there was no easy, immediate solution for it, despite how others may think psychiatry worked like. Working through the emotional trauma wrecking her patient's life would take time and effort. She was glad the Captain had brought the matter to her attention as the patient's only suspicious behavior was her lack of much of any kind of non-conforming behavior. Many other COs, she knew, would have taken this as their due, and not given it a second thought until it all blew up in their faces.

"I can not talk about my evaluation of LT Rollins' condition, sir – at all; every piece of information is privileged, and without the Lieutenant's approval I cannot reveal anything. What I can say is that I recommend further treatment either with myself, or another doctor of the Lieutenant's choosing. Also, I would like to have her put on leave for a week, potentially longer if complications were to arise."

"A week?", Captain Coulston asked, incredulous. "Don't you think the circumstances warrant a longer period of absence. LT Rollins has been doing an excellent job, and literally nothing else. She doesn't talk to anyone unless it's about work-related issues, she nibbles on her food, and she looks like she hasn't had a decent night's sleep for months. Given her condition I'd like to put her on medical leave until..."

He stopped at the Commander's raised hand, quirking an eyebrow at the breach of military protocol.

"I understand your concern, sir, but with what she has been going through" At the intrigued look he gave her, she shook her head to tell him that she would not be going into details. "-I'm afraid that the Lieutenant may have adjusted her life around her job more than anything else. Her work in Intelligence is what grounds her, gives her purpose and allows her to focus. I would wholeheartedly agree that a longer leave of absence might be more beneficial if I didn't fear that her condition might worsen if her work were to be taken from her, too. And that would not be healthy for either of them."

That earned her another raised eyebrow, and had Commander Klesko revisit what she just said. When she realized what she had revealed with one tiny, three-letter word, she might have slapped herself. She had not talked about what truly plagued the Lieutenant, but she still revealed more than she should have mentioned even to the Captain. Cursing under her breath, she straightened herself to face her commanding officer again.

"Commander, you professional opinion, please. Do you think it would be permissible to call in his SEAL team so that they can knock some sense into him?"

"...Probably not, sir."

Captain Coulston sighed.

"Think it would be a good idea anyway?"

"If the Captain thinks so," Klesko answered diplomatically. "As it were, I would have you give Lieutenant Rollins a few days of rest with people she trusts in hopes that her condition may better itself."

The Captain sighed, knowing full well what 'people she trusts' meant in this case. He got up from where he was leaning against his desk, and reached for his phone. Pressing the button that put him through to his aid, he told the Yeoman to send his guests in. While he had hoped for an extensive 'vacation' for the Lieutenant, he had predicted as much as there being a need for the two young officers marching into the room in the typical brisk fashion cultivated by the military. Both men stood at attention, and gave not a word of complaint as their superiors gave them a quick once-over.

The two men were tall and muscular, the very image of the élite unit they served in. As the Captain looked at them, dark gazes stared ahead with a sense of grim determination in them. They were under no illusions as to why they were called into his office, and he had no doubt that they had a few choice things to say about what was going on. Privileged information or not, the whole Navy was rustling with gossip.

"Gentleman, you know why you're here," the Captain asked both men.

"Yes, sir," they answered at once.

"You will be given a leave of absence of one week to accompany LT Catherine Rollins, and spent the time as she sees fit." The Captain looked back at Commander Klesko once more for confirmation, in the vain hope that the doctor might change her mind. The Commander nodded once. Sighing, the Captain turned back to the two men.

"Yes, sir," the sandy-haired man spoke up. "We'll try, sir, but..."

"Out with it."

"Sir, LT Roll- Catherine hasn't been herself at all, lately. When we had time to visit her, she has been... absent. We've found her more than once just lying curled up on her bed, and stare at the wall for ages. Only once we made our presence known, would she get up, and pretend to be cheerful for our sakes..."

"Shouldn't she stay home a little longer, sir?", the other, dark-haired man cut in politely.

"I wondered the same thing, but Commander Klesko is positive this is for the best for now. I will extend LT Rollins' leave if she recommends it."

The men turned to the Commander.

"I understand that you're worried, Commander, Ensign but LT Rollins' environment and routine should be changed as little as possible. Any further change might have deteriorating effects."

The men nodded to this, and exchanged a look. The worry was written clear on their faces, and in the tense way in which they held themselves. Captain Coulston did not envy their position. They were caught between a rock and a hard place. Any other SEAL might jump for joy at one week's leave, but these two had much more pressing concerns than beach bars and blondes. This week would, no doubt, be very trying for all involved. Still, he knew they were their best bet at getting LT Rollins back on her feet, now that... He tried not to think about the grapevine gossip. If they were lucky it was all a big misunderstanding, and everything would be back to normal soon enough. Then again, he had been hoping that for the last three months or so, and nothing had happened. He'd known LT Rollins for ages, or so it felt what with everything her father had told him about her, and about how proud he was that she had joined the Navy. He knew all parties involved in this situation well enough, and it both angered and concerned him that one of his Lieutenants was reduced to a shadow of her normally vibrant, strong self.

"Oh, and do try to cheer her up," he said in parting to the two officers he'd just sent on leave.

**End of chapter 4!**

**A/N:** Goldilocks has brought Tall, Dark and Handsome for company. Anyone else wondering how Steve will react in the next chapter?

I'm not in any way an expert in anything military, so this is purely made up. Still, I hope you liked it, and will enjoy what I plan to do with this situation.


	5. Found

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**To Angela: **I'm sorry you couldn't enjoy the last chapter. Was it the stabbing? Steve was dreaming that because he felt guilty about hurting Catherine at the dance club, though I chose this bloody way due to something that happens in this chapter.

Or maybe it had to do with the style? Chapters 1-4 were more like snapshots of their lives. They were each set at least several weeks apart within the timeline of the story. From this chapter onwards, the storyline will be continuous.

**To francis2: **Yeah, you're probably right, though there are some more factors revealed in this chapter that come into play. I blame Coulston's behavior on my love for JAG; I like thinking that a military office can function like a happy if slightly dysfunctional family – at least in fiction.

**To Runner043: **Well, she's not just an assignment. The two men will be given names here, but we'll find out the fine print in the next chapter.

**Chapter 5: Found**

Catherine smiled to herself as she got ready. Things were looking up. She was getting better now. Between talking to, complaining to and confiding in Commander Klesko regarding everything that had happened, and the unerring devoted attention with which Nick and Connor were trying to cheer her up, she had rediscovered a piece of herself she thought was lost for good; a fierce determination to live her life to the fullest. Today marked the first day that neither Steve nor her situation or its consequences had been the first thing on her mind when she woke up. Instead she had only looked ahead to the day the boys had planned for them.

She was not okay, not by a long shot, but she wasn't as bad as her boys seemed to think either. She was tired of seeing their concerned faces. She had never just pretended to be happy to see them like she knew they thought. Today was no different. She would be happy, have fun, and eventually get over this depression that seemed to hold onto her with an iron grip. She still worried about what had happened, and what would become of everything in the future. She knew, though, that she needed to focus on herself and her family. She needed to be strong, and regain her confidence, and be herself again. She had been wasting away for too long; she had to react. Thinking about Steve broke her heart anew every time, and since he had made it clear that he wanted no part in any potential future, she should not waste any more energy thinking about him or what could have been. She'd move on, erase him from her mind like he seemed to have done to what they had, and she'd live again instead of just surviving every day. Today was the first step.

The two men were loading Nick's jeep with everything they needed for a relaxing day on the beach. She even convinced them to pack her surf board; something they had been vehemently opposed to until she had tapped her foot impatiently at them, and given them the look. Telling them how much it would mean to her, and that she was really looking forward to some fun on the waves had sealed the deal better than even her death glare could. It was wrong, of course, to manipulate the two of them like that, seeing as they had been such good sports so far. She couldn't quite help it, though. She did want to catch some waves, it was the first time she had really wanted to do something other than her job and sink into dreamless sleep for a while, and she was loathe to let it go. It helped that Nick and Connor wanted her to be okay so badly that they'd second her in pretty much anything at the moment.

"Hey, you ready?", Nick's voice brought her back to reality. "Everything's in the jeep. We're just waiting for you... You didn't change your mind, did you?"

His voice was cautious and soft as if he were afraid she'd flutter away like a frightened bird if he spoke any louder. Catherine smiled at him, and shook her head. She went over to him to place a hand on his freshly shaven cheek when he didn't look to convinced. She murmured softly, assuring him that she wanted to go, then ruffled his short blonde locks, and skipped past him to join Connor outside. The dark-haired young SEAL helped her into her seat as Nick took the driver's side, and off they went.

The drive to the beach was not a long one, but she spent it looking out the window as the scenery passed them by, thinking that perhaps she was making a mistake by staying on Oahu. Here everything reminded her of what was lost, maybe a fresh start would do her good. However, Oahu was her home, a part of her legacy, and she didn't want to leave it behind. When they stopped, and she had climbed out of the jeep, Nick put a hand on her face like she had done to him.

"Hey, no bad thoughts today, okay?" he coed. "Whatever is on your mind, it can wait until tomorrow."

She nodded, letting a shaky smile back onto her face. She grabbed his hand, pressing her face into it, and closing her eyes. The feel of his hand and the scent of his skin were familiar. They comforted her; they chased away her demons. He kissed her forehead, and led her away, her beach bag in one hand as the other arm was around her waist. There were lounges and parasols for rent on the beach, and they got three of them for their little group. They were close to the water, but not so close that there were too many people to move around freely. The beach was, after all, the favorite destination of all tourists.

Catherine could see the slight traces of irritation and worry on her boys' faces when she decided to go surfing, but they let her go without protesting. Nick and Connor merely exchanged a look, and decided that Connor would go with her. Nick was more of a swimmer than a surfer, so he stayed with their things, and watched them. He cringed the few times Catherine fell off her board, but she always emerged without any visible bruise only to go right back in for more. He could see that she was happy, and when some tourist crashed in on her wave, she gave him a piece of her mind like the Catherine Nick knew. Then she went right back for the next ride.

Connor came out of the water after a while, and joined him.

"She looks happy," he commented.

"I hope it lasts," was all Nick could say to that.

"Hey, that's not how it works. She's not just going to be okay one morning. It'll take time, but she's getting there."

Nick turned his worried face to him. "You really think so?"

"She's here, isn't she?"

The sandy-haired man contemplated this for a moment. Yes, she was there with them, but was that because she was getting better like Connor seemed to think or because she wanted them to think she was getting better? He wasn't sure even Catherine herself knew the answer to that. She'd given Commander Klesko permission to keep them updated as long as the doctor didn't reveal anything specific she said to her during their sessions, and the psychiatrist had said that Catherine was making progress. Making progress. It all depended on what that meant, didn't it?

A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his reverie.

"How about a game?", Connor suggested. "I doubt Catherine appreciates us two sitting on her all the time. Between Klesko and us, and all the phone calls she has been warding of, she has had barely any time for herself lately. Let's give her some space. Constant worrying isn't gonna help her anyway."

Nick couldn't really argue with that, and so they made their way towards the water. A more secluded, and less busy streak of the beach would be better for two Navy SEALs in for a swimming contest, but Catherine had wanted to come, and she needed to be around people again, needed normalcy, and they were happy to make concessions to their freedom of movement for that. Besides, after a few dozen yards they'd cleared out of tourist hell, and were heading for open water. They decided to stay close in case something happened. Therefore they swam along the line of the beach. They'd swim their laps till one of them reached a hundred, and the other would be paying for lunch. Before they could start, Catherine came over to them.

"What are you two up to?", she questioned.

"Just deciding who's buying lunch," Connor answered with a grin. "You want in?"

Catherine snorted. She was an excellent swimmer, but there was no denying that when it came to power the boys had her beat. It was a fact of nature that no amount of training could change. With a smirk she reminded herself that she could, however, hand their asses to them in close combat and any other discipline that relied more on technique or agility than on physical strength. Laughing she shook her head at them.

"Nah, you two decide that amongst yourselves. I've been surfing for the last hour(1). I'll go to the bar, and get something to drink. I hope I have the patience to wait in line, and even that's assuming our stuff is still all there." She winked at them, and was gone. Truthfully, they didn't have much of value with them for their day on the beach – just enough money to pay for lunch and Nick's car keys. Both of those were buried under a thin sheet of sand underneath Catherine's beach bag. Any thief was welcome to tear through their things in search of them; they'd find nothing, and only get themselves arrested.

"Well, at least she's back to teasing us," Nick commented dryly.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

_Why do they always have to run away_, Danny wondered as they chased another low-life, butt-faced junkie along the boulevard. It was a wrap-up of their last drug-related arrests in the dance club a couple of months ago. Just a few street dealers left of that ring. Of course the guy's car had to end up against a tree, and of course with Steve driving Danny was the one who had to jump out of the car, his own car mind you, and make a dash for it before the vehicle had come completely to a halt. Gun in hand, he was running after the surprisingly fast and agile hippie who had decided to take a turn for the beach. He could hear Steve bridge the distance as he was the faster runner, but he paid the SEAL no mind, because their perp had just run into a group of people standing around a beach bar. Some of them were shoved away by the force of his impact, but most of them scattered as a shot resounded in the air. Slowly but surely the perp came into view, his gun almost gently caressing the temple of the woman he was holding in front of him like a shield, and Danny had a strange sense of déjà vu as he and Steve came to an abrupt a few feet from where their runner was holding his pretty hostage.

No fancy dress this time, no dancing, no blonde demigod on her arm, but there was no mistaking the beautiful woman wrapped in a colorful pareo, her long, wet dark hair braided along the side of her face. She seemed as surprised by what was going on as he and Steve were at finding her here, seeing as she was supposed to be on an aircraft carrier in God knew what part of the oceans. Then again, she had been supposed to be on the Enterprise two months ago as well. Danny, however, didn't have time to contemplate the meaning behind Catherine's apparent vacation, and pushed the thought right from his mind in the face of her being taken hostage. The mainland detective tried to analyze the situation as calmly as possible. Their perp was holding her snugly around the shoulders, and the barrel of the gun was laid against her temple, but his finger was not yet on the trigger. Clearly, he did not expect them to do something while he had a hostage.

Danny tried to remember what Steve had told him about Catherine, and how well-trained she was. Leaning his head to the side, he tried to calculate whether or not the Lieutenant could take him, and concluded that she should at least be able to get away from him. Yet, just as last time, Catherine wasn't doing anything. She was unnaturally pale and shaky, looking at Steve with anguish written all over her face, and Danny was beginning to wonder if there was something about the night Steve had thrown her out that his friend had not told him. Some other way in which he had hurt her. Then Danny shook his head free as this was hardly the moment to contemplate that either. He'd grill Steve later; for now, he had to make sure no one did anything stupid, and, obviously, they couldn't count on Catherine's help in freeing her.

"Okay, okay," Danny spoke up as calmly as he could, "let's all just calm down, please."

"Yeah, flatfoot, you and the other pig calm down, and maybe the bird will walk away," he told them, triumphantly, gesturing wildly with the gun between them and him. He returned the barrel to Catherine's skin, carefully moving it along her face. "Though it would be a pity to lose something so precious."

Catherine glared at him, but said nothing. Maybe some of the fight was coming back to her, or so Danny hoped. He could see Steve's tense form, and knew his partner was ready to jump at any sign of the perp letting his guard down. He knew that Steve was not proud of how it had ended between him and Catherine, and he was also aware that the former SEAL would not let anything happen to her. No doubt this situation reminded him of both the dance club as well as his own mistreatment of the pretty Lieutenant. The junkie was in for a rude awakening if Steve ever got his hands on him.

"I want a car," the drug dealer was saying now. "The pretty bird and I are going on a little trip, and once I'm sure that no police is following us, I'll let her go... maybe."

The last word was whispered loudly into Catherine's ear, and he nipped at it to emphasize his point, which made the woman snap her head around to get away from the point of contact. She looked at Danny, and shook her head ever so slightly, pleading with him not to let the bastard take her away with him.

"She's not going anywhere with you," Steve answered calmly. "You can have your car, and I'll come with you as your hostage, unarmed, but we can't let you leave with a civilian, you know that."

"Like you have a choice, cop!", the perp sneered. "The lady is coming with me, or she's not going anywhere ever again."

He placed the gun back firmly against Catherine's temple, putting the finger over the trigger to run it home how absolutely serious he was. His arm tightened around his hostage, moving from her shoulders to her midsection, and pulling her tightly against him. The Navy officer yelped lightly in pain, but said nothing even as the junkie addressed her directly.

"Bun won't save you either, precious," he said, pressing the gun against her temple to the point Catherine had to lean her head to the side from the pressure. His finger was now firmly on the trigger, and pulling ever so slightly. The perp turned back to Steve, whom he now clearly identified as the leader. "What's it gonna be, pig?"

A shot cut through the air.

Danny looked at Steve who looked at Danny. It quickly became obvious to them that neither of them had fired, and they frantically looked around to identify the shooter even as their criminal fell to the ground, dead. This reminded Steve so much of his dream, it physically hurt. He shuddered at the thought of how his dream had continued, even though there was no knife here. He and Danny quickly found the source of the shot in a tall man with wet sandy-colored hair and cold brown eyes. Droplets of water hit the ground as he walked past them, handing the gun to Danny without the detective ever getting a word out to demand it, and stopped only in front of Catherine's shocked form. He put both his hands on her shoulders, and asked her if she was okay. The shaky nod didn't convince anybody, but it would have to do for now.

"You're not going to make a habit out of this, are you?", the guy asked jovially, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to have the intended effect when Catherine smiled slightly, but genuinely, and shook her head emphatically. "Good. I don't need any gray hairs just yet worrying over your safety when you go on a shopping spree or stuff."

The thought of Catherine – tough, down-to-earth, tomboy Catherine – going on a shopping spree had even Danny stifle a laugh, but again it had the intended effect on the woman herself. She gave a small giggle of appreciation for the joke, though it was somewhat abruptly interrupted when Steve demanded an explanation for the shot. Goldilocks turned his head to him, an expression of utter distaste on his face for a moment before it disappeared. Then he raised an eyebrow at SuperSEAL, and Danny was sure they would get into a fight any second now. He got ready to do some damage control. Five-0 did not need to get sued just because Steve couldn't fight for his woman when he had a chance, and let her go when he should, because this was not about the bloody shot. Not for one punch that would no doubt be flying soon.

Except nothing of the sort happened. Goldilocks stood to his full height, and took a step away from Catherine to face Steve directly. He made no move to run, and, despite the hostility written all over his face, no move to attack the head of the governor's task force either. Instead the man looked pointedly from the dead perp to the gun to Catherine and then back to Steve as if the explanation was self-evident. Well, Danny had to admit that it kind of was. He had no doubt that either he or Steve would have fired too if they'd not been so shocked by the situation.

"He was about to shoot Catherine," the blonde finally spoke when Steve's gaze wouldn't stop boring into him, though he did not seem particularly impressed with it. "What was I supposed to do? Let him kill her?"

"How about letting us," Steve suggested, gesturing between himself and Danny who really wished he'd leave him out of this, "letting law enforcement handle this."

"Yes, because you've been doing such a good job in the past."

"What's that supposed to mean?!", Steve challenged.

"Nick."

"That a scumbag escaped you, and went to grab her two months ago already, and what were you doing frozen like you were when this one was about to shoot her just now?!"

"Nick."

"I was doing my job, trying to get everybody out alive, and you could have shot Catherine, do you realize that?"

"I'm an excellent shot; she was never in any danger _from me_." And the unsaid accusation rang loud it everyone's ears.

"NICK!", a voice suddenly shouted, and a second man with an unruly mob of dark hair framing his face demanded their attention after they'd completely ignored Catherine's soft feminine voice trying to reach them. Even Danny suddenly snapped his head in their direction. The second man had an arm around the smaller woman, and was holding her hand in one of his. Her other hand was pressed to her stomach which seemed oddly full. When she finally had their attention, it moved downward to her thigh to stroke over a small trickle of blood, and show them her red-stained fingers.

"The baby," Nick whispered with absolute horror.

The next couple of minutes were a flurry of activity as Danny offered to take them to the hospital in his Camaro as it was parked close by, and he could speed by using the sirens. Nick told the other guy – Connor – to pack their things, and follow in the jeep, and Steve didn't even protest when Danny got into the driver's seat. He just followed them mutely as Nick picked Catherine up to carry her over to Danny's car, and place her gently in it. Before anyone could form a conscious thought beyond their instinctive reactions, they were on their way with blaring sirens, and Danny was watching SuperSEAL sitting half-turned towards the couple in the back when he wasn't too busy weaving through the traffic.

Once they reached the hospital, Nick carried Catherine inside, and deposited her on a stretcher indicated by one of the nurses who also called for a doctor. She was carted away, and the blonde followed her worriedly as she wouldn't let go of his hand. The only thing Catherine had been repeating ever since they discovered the bleeding was that she couldn't lose her baby. Tears had been rolling down her pale, worried face, and she had held onto Nick as if for dear life. Left alone in the lobby, not sure if they were welcome, and unable to just leave, Danny and Steve sat down next to each other among a row of seats. Danny patted his partner's back as the former SEAL leaned forward to place his head in his hands.

"A baby," he kept whispering, and, "Blood – so much blood." _Just like in my dream_, he thought.

It certainly explained a lot. She hadn't reacted to either of the threats brought to her out of shock of seeing Steve, definitely, but also because she'd been afraid that the baby might get hurt if she fought back. When she'd placed her hand back onto her stomach, fingers still bloody, her baby bump had become apparent. Judging by the size...

"I'd say she's about four or five months gone," Danny calculated aloud. "That places conception right about the time you two... Oh."

"Sometime before we broke up," Steve said in broken monotone.

"How does that make you feel?" It was a stupid question, certainly, but if Steve was feeling like doing something stupid, he would like to know now.

"How do you think that makes me feel?!", Steve snapped back. "I don't want to believe that Cath would have cheated on me. We had our problems, and she wasn't my girlfriend, but... what we had was always exclusive. At least _I_ thought so."

Danny tried to think of something to say when a voice cut through the uncomfortable silence. He looked up at the words to see Connor standing before them. He must have just arrived. What he said filled Danny with a sense of dread.

"You didn't know."

**End of chapter 5!**

**A/N:** It's probably not too surprising that she is pregnant at this point, but there's clearly still more. Do you think Catherine cheated or is Steve jumping to conclusions? And who the hell are Nick and Connor anyway?

The next chapter will pick up where this one has just left off. So there will finally be some answers, and I hope you can forgive me (a little bit) for the cliffhanger. This is where I start patching them back up, though it's going to be a long and winding road.

**(1)** Not sure if pregnant women surf; probably not, but this is fiction, and I wanted her to have a nice day - for a while, at least.


	6. Revelations (Part I)

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**A/N:** There is a lot of talking in this chapter, and I hope I managed to convey all the muddling, opposing and otherwise confusing emotions I was aiming for.

**Chapter 6: Revelations (Part I)**

"I'd say she's about four or five months gone," Danny calculated aloud. "That places conception right about the time you two... Oh."

"Sometime before we broke up," Steve said in broken monotone.

"How does that make you feel?" It was a stupid question, certainly, but if Steve was feeling like doing something stupid, he would like to know now.

"How do you think that makes me feel?!", Steve snapped back. "I don't want to believe that Cath would have cheated on me. We had our problems, and she wasn't my girlfriend, but... what we had, was always exclusive. At least _I_ thought so."

Danny tried to think of something to say when a voice cut through the uncomfortable silence. He looked up at the words to see Connor standing before them. He must have just arrived. What he said filled Danny with a sense of dread.

"You didn't know."

Danny could see the confused look on Steve's face which probably resembled his own. On Connor's face he saw surprise as well, but quite a bit of understanding, too, which both relieved and irritated the detective a little. On the one hand, they would probably get an explanation for all the chaos that had made living and working around Steve hell for the last couple of months. On the other hand, if there had been a resolving explanation all this time, why couldn't anybody just have said so a little – or a lot, actually – earlier, and spared the governor's task force the trauma of a leader that resembled a machine more than a human being. More than usual...

"What didn't I know?", Steve finally asked in a deadpan indicating down the hall. "That Catherine had an extra blonde boytoy tucked away somewhere, and screwed him when I wasn't available?!"

Connor raised an eyebrow. Danny cringed. He didn't believe Steve actually believed a word he was saying, but he sure as hell was looking for a fight.

"You're lucky Nick didn't hear that. You'd be lucky that you were already in a hospital."

Danny snorted. The guy was big, but SuperSEAL wasn't exactly a lightweight either.

"In fact, I should punch you for that, at least, but considering you just found out you'll be a dad, and that statement made absolutely no sense, I'll let it slide as temporary insanity."

"Dad?", Danny piped up, but he had already put two and two together – really, Catherine cheating; absurd – while confusion returned to his partner's face.

"Of course," Connor replied as if it were obvious. "It's his kid, though maybe you're right; sharing half a gene pool with the baby doesn't make him a father."

"What are you talking about?!", Steve demanded to know. "What doesn't make sense? You're not making sense."

Connor gave the other man an almost pitying look that, any other day, would have probably set the former SEAL off. Steve was tired, though. He was drained by the day's events – not to mention everything that happened in the last four months as it had completely disassembled his life. Without either of them realizing it, Catherine had become part of the glue that kept him together, and when he sent her away, a part of him fell away and crumbled. He was so tired of trying to put the pieces back together. After the latest series of shocking events, his brain couldn't cope. He couldn't think, couldn't comprehend what Connor was saying despite knowing it was obvious. He felt the meaning in his gut, but it just wouldn't register in his conscious mind.

"Okay, first of all, Cat would never cheat on anyone. Even if, there would be a fifty per cent chance that the baby is yours. Since she doesn't cheat, you have to be the father unless you would rather believe in another immaculate conception, and I think we both know Cat doesn't fit the profile."

He gave Steve a couple of seconds to let that sink in. Connor watched the other man carefully as slowly understanding made its way over his face. It was quickly followed by horror and anger, and those two emotions intermixed so much that it was impossible to tell which one was dominant. He seemed almost torn, the poor man. Connor had a vague idea what the horror was about, though he couldn't quite place the anger. If infidelity wasn't an issue anymore, were could the anger come from? The man's partner who had driven Cat to the hospital put a hand on the his shoulder in an obvious attempt to comfort him over something, but Connor couldn't tell whether it was about the way they had ended things or the catalyst for the anger. Connor narrowed his eyes at McGarrett until something clicked in him, and two questions began burning on his tongue.

_Better start with the simple one_, Connor thought.

"Where did this idea of her cheating on you come from anyway?", he asked carefully "Do you really think so little of Cat?"

Danny saw Steve giving Connor his best death glare, but just like Nick he remained unimpressed. Catherine sure picked interesting friends if both of them could withstand SEAL anger without batting an eyelash. The detective looked between the two men, and realized how different they were. Steve was all tensed up; a few major shocks had just sent his world off kilter repeatedly. While this Connor person was clearly surprised by the unfolding events, he didn't seem particularly fazed. His posture was relaxed, laid back and absolutely calm. He might be talking about the weather for all he seemed to care. Nonetheless, the detective in Danny could tell from Connor's face that the man was intrigued about the answer to that question, and that he was following some line of questioning only apparent to himself. He was going somewhere with this. Danny decided to lean back, and find out where as he, too, would like to unravel this problem.

"What was I supposed to think when I see her again, barely two months after our... fight," Steve growled out at first, but had clear trouble with the connotations of the last word, "with Goldilocks on her arm having a blast at a dance club. And now there is you, too. What kind of arrangement is that? Do you take turns? Share? It's like I never existed."

Danny wanted to slap himself. No, better yet, slap Steve. He deserved it for letting his mouth run away from him, and say things Danny knew he probably didn't even mean. Again. By the chasm appearing between Connor's eyebrows it was clear that the man didn't appreciate what SuperSEAL was saying about Catherine. Danny himself couldn't believe what he was hearing. No matter how angry Steve had ever been, Danny had never heard him talk about a woman like that. The mainland detective got up, ready to do some damage control when Connor's demeanor suddenly did a one-eighty. Instead of pounding Steve, he laughed. Strong, torso-shaking, back-buckling peals of laughter erupted from the younger man. They wrecked his body so hard, he had trouble making his way over to the other side of Steve where he sat down, and slapped him once on the shoulder.

"Okay," Danny said, "not a reaction I was expecting."

"Well," Connor began as he sobered up in about half a second, "it's either that or breaking his jaw. Laughing won't make him eat through a tube for the next couple of months, and I won't be breaking my promise to Cat."

"What the hell?" Danny wasn't even capable of forming a proper question anymore. He was too confused, but Connor had already turned his attention back to Steve.

"Man, I know you and Cat never defined what you had, but you sure must make the worst boyfriend ever. Horrible listener, aren't you? 'Cause in seven years, I won't believe for a second that Cat never mentioned Nick and me at least once." Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "Seriously, you think she is _dating _Nick?"

Both Steve and Danny gave him a look.

"Will it be more understandable if I tell you that Nick is our brother?", he asked with a sinister smirk.

"Our?", Danny questioned, but he already knew the answer.

Connor nodded slowly, his gaze focused on Steve, trying to make him understand as he extended a hand in greeting. "Yeah, our. As in Cat's and mine. Ensign Connor Rollins, and you've already met Commander Nicholas Rollins. I'd say it's pleasure to meet you, but considering the circumstances and the fact that part of me still wants to kick you for what you said about and did to my sister..."

Steve's face would have been priceless if Danny hadn't been equally dumbfounded.

"Ohm," Danny piped up, pointing at Steve, "I'm sorry, but isn't he your superior or something?"

"He's in the reserves, I'm not in uniform, nor on duty, and he manhandled and insulted my sister who, at the moment, is in the hospital potentially miscarrying _his_ baby!", Connor retorted as he went deadly serious. The situation and the potential so solve something that had been nagging at him for the past two months had pushed the reason for their trip to the hospital into the back of his mind. "I dare say, any court would understand that I don't feel very forthcoming in the Yes-Sir-Department right now."

"Right," Steve said, taking the proffered hand slowly. They shook hands hesitantly, their gazes never straying from one another as they sized each other up. Now that he'd been made aware, Steve could see the family resemblance between Connor and Catherine. They had the same dark hair and eyes, the pale complexion and they shared similar facial features. Steve couldn't believe he'd been so blind, but then he had been paying more attention to Nick, and the resemblance was basically non-existent with him. He suddenly recalled a conversation in a mess hall. "Yes, she did mention two brothers in the SEALs. If you're her younger brother, she said that you were her best friend. Nick she just called Brother Bear."

Connor snorted.

"She would. Nick is the typical elder brother. He's protective of her. He's always seen it as his job to try to scare her boyfriends off, and if they fled, they were not right for her. You might actually want to avoid him for a while. He's royally pissed at you right now. I'm a bit more laid back than that. I couldn't believe that you would seriously hurt Cat-"

"She told you about that night, huh?"

"Well, yeah, of course she told us. We're her brothers. She told me a lot earlier, though, during a phone call from the Enterprise. Nick only found out when he was pulled out of... well, when they send his team for training exercises to Pearl. Captain Coulston is an old friend of our father's, and he was worried about Cat."

"I see," was all Steve could say about that. He didn't know what else to say. Everything seemed so surreal. Four months ago he had physically attacked Cath, a few weeks later she had completely cut him off – understandably so – after one last favor, and about a month after that he'd seen her with Nick, and thought the worst. He'd been terrorized with nightmares ever since he had seen her break down, and just this day he went from thinking she might die to finding out she was pregnant, suspecting she had cheated to realizing he was going to be a... father. He was going to be a father. All these revelations had distracted him, and it hadn't had the time to truly sink in. He was going to be a father. Like Danny with Grace.

Suddenly his mind swam with images. Memories of watching football and going hiking with Grace (and her girl scouts) intermixed with daydreams of a currently faceless child lying in his arms crying, then growing up to play tag, go swimming, fishing with Chin, surfing with Kono, being swung around by Danny, testing Shave Ice flavors at Waiola... The images flashed before his eyes so quickly he grew dizzy. Steve raised a hand to his forehead in an attempt to stabilize himself somewhat. He was going to be a father; Catherine was going to have his baby... Or not. His mind came to a dead stop as it remembered why they had originally come to the hospital, and suddenly his brain was hurting from other images. Her fingers, read with blood, came to mind. She'd looked so frightened. She'd kept saying that she could not lose this baby, and now it sounded like a mantra – like a plea to the almighty God not to rob her of the most precious thing in her life.

"McGarrett?", Connor's voice interrupted his spiraling train of thought. "I do have another question. Maybe two."

"Hmm?", he croaked out weakly. Anything to distract him.

"If you didn't know about the baby, what did you think my sister was talking about at the dance club?"

Steve made a helpless gesture. That would hardly require an elaborate answer. He mumbled out something about Nick and dating and that he hadn't wanted to know even as Danny, who had been uncharacteristically quiet up until now, noticed the strange tone of voice in which Connor asked. For the third time that day since seeing Catherine bleed, the mainland detective was filled with dread. He knew that something was not right from how Connor had asked his question. It was just a preamble to the actual query which, and Danny unfortunately had no doubt about this, would rip the ground from underneath his partner's feet.

Connor's expression turned pensive for a moment before he delivered the punch line.

"I just don't see how Cat could have misunderstood that as you telling her to get an abortion."

Heads snapped around at that statement. Both Danny and Steve were looking at Connor in the most horrified manner imaginable. The words registered in their minds, but Danny couldn't quite puzzle together the meaning. He did, however, see the terrified clarity that took a hold of his partner's expression in the split-second before said man slapped his hands over his face with a soft whimper of anguish. Danny had never heard his friend emit such a sound in all the admittedly few years of their acquaintance. It sounded so completely unlike Steve that he blinked twice even as another whimper tore itself from his friend's throat.

He looked up at Connor who shrugged as helplessly as Danny felt. Clearly, Catherine's brother didn't have a clue either. For the first time since this conversation started – which Danny perceived as last year by how drained he felt – Connor didn't hold all the cards or have an answer to everything. In this one mystery, Steve was the only one who had the slightest inkling as to what happened. Remembering how he had seen Nick carry Catherine out of the dance club after her conversation with Steve – pale, shaky and in tears – he cursed himself for having left them alone in that bloody hallway.

"Steve," he tried to get his friend's attention. "Babe, what's wrong? What happened? You can tell me. You know you can tell your Danno everything."

Danny didn't care that he was talking to Steve as if to an infant, nor about the strange looks they were getting from everyone in the room or even about how Connor's eyebrows disappeared under his unruly hairline at his no doubt less than militaristic choice of words. His friend was in pain, and he couldn't help him if he didn't first understand what it was that had him in its grip. He'd never seen Steve so close to a breaking point, or maybe he was already over it. Danny wondered if Steve felt guilty at how he had treated Catherine while she must have already been pregnant, or if it was worry over losing a child that he hadn't known existed until mere moments ago, but that didn't coincide with the moment of his erratic behavior. It was a distinctive reaction to something that had happened in the dance club.

Without warning, Steve's body snapped back up as if he were coming to attention. He looked straight ahead, clearly unable to look at either of his companions. Nevertheless, Danny could see that his eyes were shining with unshed tears. By the tension in his muscles and the shivers running over his body, Danny could tell that his partner was fighting to remain calm; he was teetering on the edge of a breakdown or perhaps a panic attack. Any other day Danny would have been all over Steve for his uncharacteristic display of emotions, but there was no room for jokes when a child and a loved one were in the middle of everything. He wasn't that much of an ass; besides, he wanted Steve to answer, not snap at him.

"I told her that I knew... She must have taken that as knowing about the baby. Oh god, what have I done! I didn't know about... How could she take that to mean I wanted her to... Never! I would never...," he groaned, almost unable to string a proper sentence together.

"What did you tell her, McGarrett," Connor pressed. Danny threw him a look, but he only had to mouth 'sister' with a slight jerk of the head down the hall to shut Danny up before the detective even got started. Connor was right. Catherine had gone through hell, and now she might even lose the baby; they needed to know. "Cat is possibly having a miscarriage, partly because of being taking as a hostage, maybe, but mostly, I think, because of seeing you while she still thought you wanted her to get rid of the baby-"

They both saw it; saw the instant change in Steve's countenance when the word left Connor's lips, and the absolute desolation as the statement ran his own guilt home.

"What did you say, Steve?", Danny asked softly.

"I told her I wanted to rid myself of it all," Steve answered tonelessly, closing his eyes. His voice rose as desperation mixed into his explanation. "I meant the memories of me and her. I meant that I wanted to move on, get over her and forget her like she seemed to have forgotten me. I never meant that... I didn't know."

Danny saw Connor close his eyes briefly as if trying to regain his strength after the full impact of that confession had hit him. Then, unexpectedly, the younger man put a hand on Steve's shoulder drawing his attention to him. He patted Steve a few times, and squeezed his shoulder once before settling his hand back in his lap again. Connor turned his head to look down the hallway they had taken Catherine along before he ever arrived at the hospital like he instinctively knew where to look for her.

"No, you didn't know." There was no accusation in his voice, only resignation and sadness. He knew Catherine would probably kick him for what he would say next, but he couldn't help it. Steve needed to know some things, too, if they wanted to have any chance at fixing this terrible misunderstanding. "It did strike me as odd that you'd tell her something like that. After everything she had told me about you over the years... She couldn't believe it herself, but she was reeling so much from what she thought you said that it became a reality in her mind anyway. Don't blame her. She hasn't been herself lately."

"I have to talk to her," Steve said, and stood up even though Catherine was probably still being treated.

Connor stood up with him, and shook his head. Even Danny told him it would be a bad idea to just show up.

"What?! Am I supposed to let her continue to think that I'm some kind of monster?"

"Steve, think about it," Danny tried to reason with him after a look at Connor. They both knew Steve was more likely to listen to him. A little voice inside Danny was snorting – yeah, right. "What do you plan on doing? This isn't something you can solve by storming the castle, brandishing a 9mm. This needs to be handled delicately. With care."

"Danny..."

"Steve," Danny admonished that he was not done yet. "For the last two-and-a-half months Catherine has been thinking that you wanted her to 'get rid' of the baby. She's not likely to want to talk to you, especially if you just run up to her."

Steve had the decency to flinch at his words and air quotations.

"Now she's also possibly miscarrying with you around; she might think that you've gotten your wish."

Steve was ready to protest this, but at the look on both men's faces he couldn't do anything but slump back into his seat, defeated.

"What do I do then, Danny?", he croaked. "I can't let her think..."

"You let me talk to her first," Connor answered this time. "I believe you. Let me prepare her."

_And pray to God that she doesn't lose this baby first_, Danny thought, and he could see the same thought reflected on the younger man's face as their gazes locked over Steve's crumpled form in the chair.

"What is he still doing here?", a new voice questioned, irritated.

**End of chapter 6!**

**A/N: **Sorry about the delay; I've had to pack up the last of my things for collection tomorrow. The next post will be on the 16th of June as I'm going on a little holiday. Then I'll post again on the 23rd, and then my internship starts on the 24th. I'll try to update as often as possible but it depends on how much writing I can get in beside everything else.**  
**


	7. Revelations (Part II)

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**A/N:** There is a lot of talking in this chapter, and I hope I managed to convey all the muddling, opposing and otherwise confusing emotions I was aiming for.

**Chapter 7: Revelations (Part II)**

Looking up, Steve was met with the image of Goldi- Nick Rollins jerking a thumb in his direction without ever deigning him with a look. Instead the man's gaze was focused on his little brother who calmly moved to stand next to him. The dark-haired man held up his hands in a placating gesture, and placed one of them on his brother's tense shoulder as they began to talk. Steve could understand Nick's ire; he wasn't too fond of himself at the moment either. He could only imagine how he'd react if it were his sister in the hospital after everything.

"It's complicated," Connor was telling his brother, "and not the most important thing right now. How's Cat?"

"They managed to stop the bleeding. She's safe for now, but they're keeping her overnight." Nick's voice sounded tired. "Just to be on the safe side."

Connor nodded.

"Yeah, but how _is_ she? The baby?"

"The doctor told me the baby was fine. It was really more of a scare," Nick replied. "And what a scare. Cat's worried. She fears she might still lose the baby, no matter how often the doctors assure her that it's fine. I fear this might be a set back."

Connor looked at his brother quizzically for a few seconds, before he seemed to realize something. At this point a rather loud curse fell from his lips, turning quite a few heads around in their direction. One of the older nurses tutted him, but the Navy SEAL paid her no mind. He turned away from Nick, and stalked around the room for half a minute. When he returned to the little group, the sinking feeling in Steve's stomach slowly turned his insides to ice as he began to realize that the worst news might still lie ahead of him.

He wondered what set back Nick had been talking about, and it made him recall something strange that Connor had told him earlier – about his sister not having been herself. It also made him wonder how badly Catherine took the shock of her near miscarriage, and how much she would blame him. He hadn't really done anything to cause it, but with the misunderstanding of the dance club and all the stress she must have gone through because of it, he could understand how seeing him again might have contributed. Perhaps even more so than her situation with the drug dealer. Not that he didn't blame himself anyway, because this could have all been avoided if he'd just kept his mouth shut at the dance club instead of jumping to conclusions as usual.

"Now, care to explain what he's still doing here?", Nick's voice broke through Steve's contemplation as the man again talked about him as if he weren't even there. The blonde refused to look at him; he was concentrating on his brother who at least had the decency to glance in Steve's direction before answering.

"He didn't know about the baby," Connor stated calmly. He knew it was a bit of a bombshell as an introduction, but he also knew his brother well enough to know he would not quietly listen to him regarding the topic of Steve McGarrett for long, so he needed to up the ante. Leaving out the preamble was the best way he could think of. He would simply have to put the cart before the horse, and explain as the conversation unfolded. For the moment, though, there was no conversation to be had, because Nick was looking at him incredulously.

"I heard him-"

Offense was the best defense, so Connor decided to take a page out of Nick's book, and interrupt.

"He wasn't talking about the baby, and he didn't think Cat was either. He didn't know there was a baby; he just assumed she wanted to tell him that she'd found someone else, and that she was happy without him."

An eyebrow twitched on Nick's face at being interrupted, but he didn't comment on that. He had more important concerns at that moment – like the fact that his brother seemed to be taking McGarrett's side. Their sister was in the hospital after a quick succession of two traumatic experiences, and their own brother was rising to the defense of the man who had hurt her both emotionally and physically, and potentially almost caused a miscarriage... Part of him wanted to strangle Connor while the other part knew that the younger man wouldn't say anything if he didn't truly believe everything he said.

In fact, his little brother would have already thrown the Lieutenant Commander out – superior or not – if that weren't the case. He gave the young man a good long look. Connor was good at judging people, he had to admit. Nick had also had his own trouble at believing that McGarrett, a fellow SEAL, could act so callously toward his own child, no matter what he thought of his sister. If he hadn't heard the words from the man's own mouth, he might have dismissed them, and not have given them a second thought. Being presented with the possibility of the whole thing being one giant, horrible misunderstanding made sense to the logical part of him, but he couldn't just shake off two-and-a-half months of distrust. He couldn't just-

"I can speak for myself, Ensign," Steve suddenly said with determination, standing up to face Nick.

Both brothers looked at him like he'd grown another head, which had Danny snort for half a second.

"Ah, no, you can't," Connor replied unfazed, and his complete lack of military decorum threw Danny into a fit. He couldn't help but chortle, even though he tried to suppress it. Meanwhile, Steve turned on his SEAL glare as if expecting it to have more effect now than it did the first few times when it didn't work at all. Indeed, both men ignored him, and were about to continue there conversation when Steve opened his mouth again.

"If you're about to pull rank Lieutenant Commander, let's not forget that I outrank you by a pay grade, and you would really not be helping your situation any," Nick beat him to it.

Steve's glare turned defiant as he faced Nick directly.

"Let's summarize, shall we?", the other man continued unfazed. "You've been sleeping with my sister for a good seven years, no commitment, which could easily be misunderstood as using her for her body. In these last few years you've pulled a couple of interesting stunts like asking her for favors that could get her court-martialed, and completely cut her out of your life here. I can understand being angry at her for and feeling betrayed over how she handled information about your mother – she did not go into details when telling me about this if you're wondering – and I can understand breaking it off due to this, but nothing justifies slamming my sister or any woman into a wall."

At that point Steve couldn't hold Nick's gaze anymore. The man was right. Catherine had wronged him, but he'd done worse to her.

"Then you ask her for another career-threatening favor, and the next time you two meet, you completely break her heart by rejecting the child you fathered-" When Steve opened his mouth to protest this, Nick held up a hand, and cut him short, "- that's what it looked like from my perspective anyway, and it's a perspective that I've held for over two months. Even on an average day I'd be more likely to listen to my brother, so considering everything I just said..."

He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't need to. It was obvious to everyone that Nick didn't put much trust into Steve or his honesty, and really had no desire to talk this through with him. Still, the way he had talked about his brother gave the former SEAL hope that he would believe Connor on his behalf, but that wasn't what Steve wanted. It wasn't about Nick believing his brother's assessment of him. It was about Catherine believing that Steve would never say something so horrible to her, so that maybe they could fix this somehow. Steve wanted to be there for his kid. He'd only just found out he would be a father, and he couldn't honestly say whether or not he loved the baby, or even whether or not he _wanted_ it on a base level, but he knew he'd always regretted that his father had not been in his life after his mother's death. He knew the reasons now, but he vowed to do better. He wanted to be better, to be involved. If he was going to be a father, he would not be an absentee parent.

Steve squared his shoulders, and stepped between Nick and Connor despite the rebuke he'd just received from the older brother. He knew from heir earlier conversation that Connor was, at least somewhat, on his side, and would back him up in his plan to try to fix things. That meant that it was Nick whom he needed to convince. He had taken every blow to his honor, and he could even agree more or less with a few of them, but he would not back down. He would never run from his situation with Catherine again. If that meant facing her brother's anger and distrust first, that's what he would do.

"I need to speak with her," Steve stated matter-of-factly. "Connor is telling you the truth. I didn't know about the baby. I thought she would tell me how the break up was a good thing, how she was happy now with... someone else, and I was still suffering from it all. I couldn't... I didn't want to hear that. I never meant for her to think that I was rejecting our baby. I would never do that. She needs to know that. I have to tell her."

Nick's eyebrows furrowed.

"Exactly how did you come to the conclusion that she was seeing someone else anyway?", he asked, recalling how his brother had said something similar a little earlier.

There was a moment of absolute silence till Danny couldn't hold the very manly giggle in anymore.

"SuperSEAL here saw you with Catherine, and thought you two were on a date," he explained, earning himself a glare from said partner. Danny shrugged. He'd been quiet the entire time; he had earned himself the right to drop this little bombshell. As an added bonus, the look on Nick's face was priceless. It was the absolute dumbfounded look of someone who had not been expecting this answer at all. Catherine being his sister had obviously prevented the SEAL from seeing them together as a couple as Steve had done. Nick's head immediately snapped around, first to his brother who nodded, then to the other officer who was still glaring at his partner.

"You though I was dating my sister?!", Nick puffed out, his voice somewhere between screeching irritation and begrudging amusement.

"Well, you don't exactly look like us, Nick," Connor piped up, ever helpful. "If I didn't know you were my brother, I might have thought the same. You know you come after grannie."

"Yes, but my sister. That's just... eww."

Connor chuckled. Danny followed suit. Steve flushed with embarrassment.

"Anyway, he wants to talk to Cat. Have they given her a room yet?"

"Here?", Nick asked, incredulous. "You want to do this here? Now? So soon after everything..."

"Here, she's already in a hospital. If something does happen, if the stress is too much, at least there are doctors _here_ who can help her."

"Lieutenant Rollins' family?", a nurse called out, breaking up there conversation. When Connor raised an arm to alert her to where they were, the nurse, who'd been looking around the room to find them, came over. She greeted them succinctly, and told them she would show them to their sister's room. The brothers followed without questioned, while Steve had to be given a push in the right direction by Danny to overcome his hesitancy. As much as he wanted to talk to Catherine, he obviously dreaded it, too. Then there was the unresolved issue of whether Nick would even let him get anywhere near his sister. This was a hospital; a yelling match would be thoroughly inappropriate – let alone a physical confrontation.

The nurse left them in front of Catherine's door. She was supposedly already in there, and could receive visitors for a short time. Then she would need rest. Steve was shuffling on his feet, not sure what to do. She needed rest. She'd nearly lost the baby. Perhaps Nick was right, and it would be better to wait a little before he talked to her. He could come back tomorrow before they released her. It would give Nick and Connor some time to prepare her, and get her to be more comfortable seeing him again. Fear suddenly pinched Steve's heart. What if her trust in him was so thoroughly broken that she refused to see him? Even if her brothers talked to her, it was a possibility. He'd not exactly been Prince Charming to her recently. He couldn't fix this if she wouldn't talk to him.

"I'd like to talk to her," Danny said into the blue, turning all their heads to him. "I'm not involved. I wasn't there during the dance club incident; I was outside. Catherine knows I don't let Steve get away with anything, and I have a daughter myself, for whom I moved thousands of miles to this pineapple-infested hellhole, so she should know that I'd never talk to him again if he abandoned his child."

"I'll go with you," Connor said at once. Both Steve and Nick knew what he was doing. He was giving them the opportunity to work this out between themselves before facing Catherine. Without another word, the detective and the SEAL disappeared into the room.

"So," Nick began after a moment, "you didn't know?"

"No," Steve stated simply. He didn't know what else to say to that. He'd already explained to Nick. If the man hadn't believed him then, he wouldn't be any more likely to now.

"And now that you do know?", his superior prompted.

Steve bit his lips. After finding out, he had been single-minded in his intention to talk to Catherine and fix it, though knowing full well that it would need more than a few petty words to dispel the distrust build in either of them. He knew, though, that answer would not cut it, and it was not the whole story anyway. Thinking more profoundly about it, Steve realized that for the most part, he felt confused. His relationship with Catherine, while not being merely physical as Nick had exaggeratedly described it, had never been much about a future. They had been exclusive, and, despite all appearances to the contrary, committed, but with their lives and career choices they'd never talked about settling down.

They'd certainly never talked about having a kid together. While the odd thought of a family with Cath had crossed his mind sometimes, he had always dismissed it without worries; there had always been time. Now the time had come without either of them having made a conscious decision in regards. There was a baby, and that was a reality they couldn't escape anymore. Did he want to escape, though? He had decided not to be an absentee father, but did that reflect how he actually felt about the baby? Did he want to be a father at all? If Catherine had lost the child, that would have been horrible, but was that because of the horror of miscarriage with which he was raised or because he would actually miss the baby? He didn't know, he just didn't know. His feelings were all jumbled up, and he couldn't discern any of them for what they were.

It was giving him a headache.

"The truth is... I'm confused. I don't know what to think or feel," Steve answered honestly. "I don't trust Catherine the way I did before. I can't. However, I know what it feels like to be missing a parent or both of them, really. I would never do that to my child. I don't know what will happen to me and Catherine. Clearly, we need to work some kinks out if this is supposed to work in any way, but I want to be a part of our kid's life, and I'm going to do everything to make that happen, and to be a good father."

Nick gazed at him wordlessly for a moment, then nodded.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being honest, I suppose. Doing the right thing, too."

Before Steve could answer, the door in front of them opened again, and Connor motioned them inside. Steve gave him a hopeful look which the other man answered with a nod. A slight smile made itself onto the reservist's face. Whatever Danny and Connor had told Catherine, it had obviously worked wonders if she was willing to see him.

"Don't expect too much, though," Connor warned him quietly, making Steve frown. What was wrong now?

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

He found out what was wrong a few minutes later just before Connor asked him to leave. Catherine had agreed to see him, but she was still mad as hell at him, and sure didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. She was quietly conversing with Danny when he came in. Th mainland detective had clasped her right hand in his left, the other was laid carefully over the bump in her stomach. Her hand was atop Danny's, and his partner had the goofiest expression Steve had ever seen on his face. Once the detective noticed him, he slowly removed his hand from Catherine's stomach, and turned to face him fully.

"Your spawn is quite the fighter already. He or she moves around like they're competing in a sparring match," Danny greeted him.

Steve was intrigued, and extended a hand toward the place where Danny had touched Cath's stomach. He hesitated, searching her gaze.

"May I?", he asked tentatively.

Catherine was torn, and it showed on her face. She saw Steve's expression change into resignation at her hesitancy, and suddenly found herself nodding quietly. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to touch her, but that was not what he was asking. Not really. He wanted a chance to feel his child, and she couldn't deny him that even if it made her slightly uncomfortable, even with how he had treated her to this moment. She couldn't, however, keep the tension out of her body as his hand found her stomach through her hospital gown. Her hand did not move to cover it like she had done with Danny's. His hand was hot, and the heat seemed to attract the baby to the spot where Steve's hand rested. At the first kick Steve's hand jerked away in surprise.

"Oh."

"Yeah...", was all she could say.

He looked up at her, saw how uncomfortable she was, and decided against putting his hand back to feel his baby kick again, even though it itched to do so. It hurt to think that his closeness caused her stress. He remembered that she needed rest, but he at least needed to get out what he'd come to say. Only now that he was face to face with her again, he didn't know where to start. She'd done her part already, letting him see her. Now it was his turn to offer something worthwhile the stress she was putting herself through, but what could he say that Danny and Connor hadn't probably already explained.

"So," Catherine began. She tried to keep her voice as neutral as possible, even though she felt like screaming and cursing at him. Kicking, too. "Danny says there something important that I need to hear."

Steve glanced at his partner, wondering if that was all that he'd said, and how that had managed to convince Catherine to meet with him. He looked back to the woman in front of him, and licked his lips, trying to get started.

"I... I wanted you to know that I didn't know about the baby when we spoke at the dance club. I assumed you were dating Nick; I didn't realize he was your brother, and I jumped to conclusions. I couldn't believe you'd moved on so quickly, and I didn't want to hear how happy you were with him, so I cut you off. We... we got our wires crossed..."

Danny couldn't believe his ears. He wanted to slap himself, and hit Steve at the same time. His partner gave a damn good explanation, alright, completely logical and all. Unfortunately, so far Danny hadn't heard a single apology for anything in there, and while it had been unintentional – for the most part; Danny had not forgotten the wall thing – he had caused Catherine quite a bit of pain, and an apology never hurt anyway.

_'It might hurt Steve's pride'_, Danny snorted quietly. _'He's an idiot. If the words _I'm sorry_ don't come out of his mouth soon, he's going to lose his chance at making things right. Maybe I should say something...'_

He could see Catherine's face darken as Steve spoke, and knew that she wasn't about to stay quiet much longer. The Navy Lieutenant had been thoroughly convinced that Steve had rejected responsibility for his child, and even as said SEAL was currently telling her that he wanted part of his kid's life, Danny realized that Steve was missing an important point. Catherine had believed him an asshole for over two months, including the wall thing and the last favor probably longer, and Steve didn't seem to get that she was both angry and distrusting toward him, and that, therefore, just explaining wouldn't do him a whole lot of good.

"Steve," Catherine, not surprisingly, interrupted. Steve looked at her startled. "If you really want in, I'd be the last to object, but it's just not that easy."

He frowned, not understanding what she meant. Catherine tapped a finger against her head.

"I understand everything you just said, in here," she elaborated. "Nonetheless, I've spent the last two-and-a-half months thinking you wanted me to get an abortion. Can you imagine how badly my trust in you is damaged? In fact, I don't trust you, and I'm sure the feeling is still mutual."

Steve leaned forward until he was inches from her face, and for a moment Danny feared he might do something in anger that he'd regret.

"This is my kid too, Catherine. I will not have it grow up without me even if..."

He snapped back angrily, stopping himself before he could say something else. He didn't know what had gotten into him, and paced as much as the small room would allow. It was like her anger had turned a switch inside him, and suddenly he'd been furious with her. It had felt eerily similar to that night in his house, and he'd barely managed to stop himself from threatening her with going to court. At least he hadn't physically manhandled her this time, but he was sure he would have some serious groveling to do to get her on speaking terms with him again.

"There's no need for threats," Catherine stated firmly, sitting up a little straighter in her hospital bed, and jutting her chin out defiantly. "I'm not going to keep you from your kid even if you are a bastard to me."

She noted with a certain amount of satisfaction that he had the decency to flinch. Despite his odd behavior, it made her think that not all was lost.

"I was only saying that we will need time and effort to get back on good terms, and that the fact that the baby isn't born yet might give us the time we need to bond at least a little," she explained further. "That is, assuming that you can tear yourself away from your cases long enough to spend some time with me and our unborn child."

Before Steve had a chance to possibly add a scathing retort to that jibe, Connor stepped up between the two.

"Catherine needs rest. Why don't you come by her house tomorrow, Commander, and we can discuss it in more detail. We still have another couple of days leave, so that should make spending time together a little easier," he suggested diplomatically.

Danny smiled. _'I think I just found a friend... Good, I'll need an ally in this. This whole conversation sounded more like a business deal than... than what? What is left of them?'_

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

After Nick closed the door angrily on McGarrett, his hand stayed against the frame, clenched into a tight fist. He looked at Connor who could only shrug his shoulders, clearly not understanding what was going on either. This had nothing to do with what had happened at the man's house, and McGarrett's reaction was inexcusable. Nick sent a withering glare at his brother for inviting the man into Catherine's home for the following day. As far as he was concerned, the reservist had been allowed too much leeway already. What more harm he might do if he were allowed to continue, didn't bear thinking about.

This made him turn to his sister, quietly lying in the hospital bed with both hands spread protectively across the swell of her stomach. In a sense, she was being as unreasonable as McGarrett himself, albeit in a very different way. Her pregnancy had progressed quite a bit already, and now she had nearly lost her baby. She herself had lost her way for a bit there, and Nick was not sure she would be okay once he and Connor had to leave. He was also loathe to leave her alone with the child's father.

She seemed deep in thought, most likely about what to do, but she soon came back to reality as Nick kept looking at her. He saw her leaning her head to the side in contemplation, and then watched her face harden as she seemed to glean an inkling of what he might be thinking. Her mouth became a thin, stern line, and a frown marred her thoughtful features. She was silently shaking her head at him which made Nick huff.

"Are you serious?", he asked incredulously. "You almost lost the baby."

"Do not even think about it. You know what happens every time we come face to face; we argue. Do you really think that's what I or the baby need at the moment."

"You shouldn't be alone. Connor and I will be called back soon."

"I can't fight with her right now, Nick. She drives me up the wall every time we speak, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual. I can't take that."

"You have to tell them eventually, Cat," Connor piped up, ever the voice of reason, and Catherine looked down sullenly.

"I know."

"Preferably before you go into labor."

**End of chapter 7!**

**A/N: I promised I'd update today, and I'm glad I managed. Yesterday was stressful, but I'm happy to be home. Not sure how much writing I can  
manage in the near future, but I do have the next chapter ready. It just needs some final polishing. So next week's update will definitely come  
on time.  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though it was more talking.**


	8. Revelations (Part III)

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**To FicreaderT: **You're right, but there is a reason for Steve's odd behavior which will eventually be revealed. For now, he's just confused and lost, and doesn't know what's going on with him, doesn't know how to feel or how to react. He'll be a bit softer in this one... eventually.

**Chapter 8: Revelations (Part III)**

Steve was quiet, and entirely wrapped up in his own world during the drive home. He hadn't even attempted to take the keys from Danny. His mind was in too much turmoil to even consider driving at that moment. He didn't know what had come over him in the hospital. He'd been wrecked with guilt and anxiety, then it had done a one-eighty on him, and suddenly he'd been so angry at Catherine that he had pushed her in her already fragile state. He'd further alienated her despite knowing she was carrying his child, and that he had nearly lost it on a previous occasion. He'd hardly ingratiated himself with her or her brothers, and he was sure his partner would give him a piece of his mind, too.

He had intended to be a part of his child's life, even though he wasn't sure he wanted to be a father, and when he'd felt that threatened he'd lashed out at someone who'd, until recently, been one of his closest friends. He'd be surprised if she let him into the house tomorrow, or anywhere near her or her unborn child ever again. For a moment he hadn't been sure what he would do. He didn't want her to exclude him, but what he had done would hardly convince her that he would be a good father to their child. It would hardly convince her that it was possible for them to fix things between them, and raise this kid together – or somewhat together anyway.

He'd been right about Danny, of course, as the detective walked into his house right on his heels heedless of whether or not Steve wanted to be left alone to think. He could see Danny gesture a little helplessly out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't turn around. His partner didn't seem sure where to start, and he was certainly not going to give the man incentive. He just wanted to be alone right now. He knew he'd done wrong in the hospital, he didn't need it reiterated and dissected for him again.

"What was that?", Danny finally asked, breaking the tense silence between them. His arms were extended to one side as if he were trying to indicate the hospital room. Steve had no doubt that Danny had wanted to ask that question since they'd left said room, so he immediately connected the dots. "What was that? What happened to you in there, babe? One minute, you're all grief and fear that she won't believe you, or let you be a part of the kid's life, the next I'm wondering if you're going to hurt her. What's wrong with you?"

Steve didn't have an answer. He had been wondering that since he'd pushed Catherine against the wall months ago.

"What is it about that woman that makes you so stupid? Do you think she's any more likely to let you near her kid now that you threatened her?"

"I wasn't going to threaten her. Not like that."

"Not like what, Steve? One moment you're trying to explain the huge misunderstanding, trying to fix your broken bond with her, and the next you're tearing it further apart by getting into her face like that! What was going on in your head? What were you thinking?!"

Steve pulled a hand through his hair.

"I don't know, okay. I wasn't... I wasn't trying to scare her or hurt her or anything. All I meant was that I would go to court to fight for custody," he answered with exasperation.

He could see Danny contemplating him and his answer for a few quiet minutes. His partner didn't move, but his arms fell to his sides, and the expression on his face turned into a mixture of anguish, pity, exasperation and worry. He looked like someone who was about to deliver bad news, and regretted having to do it. Danny opened his mouth several times, but nothing came out. He could not seem to find the right words for whatever grave news he needed to give Steve, and the SEAL stayed quiet. He waited for his friend to compose himself, and tell him in his own time. Danny had always been his shred of normalcy outside his own body, his bastion of calm to which he could anchor himself, and get a normal, civilian perspective on things. He may never tell him, yet Danny was the greatest influence on him since his father died. All his team was family, but Danny and Grace were still closer to his heart than anyone else aside from Catherine – though that was now over as well. Whatever Danny had to say, he needed to hear.

"And you think that any court is likely to assign you custody of a child whose mother you mistreated and threatened, twice already. As the mother Catherine holds nearly all the cards anyway, but after today, you'd be lucky if a court awarded you visitation rights."(1) It pained Danny to have to tell his friend this, but Steve needed to know. "If you can do what you did – or worse – to the mother, whose to tell the court that you wouldn't do it to the child. Catherine is pregnant, she had just nearly lost the baby, and you got in her face. Even I thought for a moment that you might strike her..."

He interrupted himself to press his hands against his face. His voice had been so calm, so completely devoid of emotion that Steve knew he was telling him the truth. He knew it, too. He had known since he left that hospital room, and thinking about it now, he was sure this subconscious knowledge had been responsible for most of his inner turmoil during the drive home. The shock of hearing it said out loud, made Steve stumble back until the back of his knees hit the edge of his couch. He let himself sink down on the armrest, numb.

"I know you, Steve, and this isn't you. What has gotten into you?", the detective asked quietly.

"I don't know, man," Steve answered as all the fight left him. "It was like that night at my house. I was so angry. I had slammed her against the wall before I even knew what I was doing. Then she went completely limp in my grip, and I started realizing what was happening. I was so... disgusted with myself. Between that and my anger I couldn't look at her. She had lied to me about my own mother."

"Speaking of which, where is hers?", Danny wondered idly. Clearly, he wasn't getting any satisfactory answers from Steve at the moment. He somewhat doubted that Steve himself knew the reasons for his sudden violent outbursts. This detour interested him, and Steve's mood had been shifting back to anger again. Maybe this would calm him enough to have a reasonable conversation. "Her daughter is pregnant, and emotionally hurt, and her mother is nowhere to be found. Is she...?"

"No, she's alive, but their relationship isn't the best. I never met her mother personally, but from what I understand she didn't approve of Catherine joining the Navy."

"Why not? From today's findings I'd say it's the family business."

"I don't know the details, but apparently she had hoped her daughter would become a lawyer or a real estate agent – something civilian in any case – and be closer to the family. Her father, however, taught her everything she'd need to become a SEAL if they did accept women into the ranks. Catherine became enamored with the Navy, and decided to follow her father's footsteps. Her relationship with her mother suffered from it. I'm not sure she even knows that Catherine is pregnant. At least not from her."

"Has it ever occurred to you," Danny questioned him carefully, weighing this new piece of information in his mind, "that she may have been telling the truth about why she lied to you."

Steve blinked at him.

"Steve, I know you haven't told her everything. I always assumed that you were trying to shelter her; is it really so hard to believe that she would do the same?"

"It's not the same."

"Isn't it?"

"I never lied to her about her mother, Danny," Steve snapped in frustration.

"Couldn't that be the reason she lied to you – her mother," Danny suggested. When he saw the confused look on Steve's face, he elaborated. "You just finished explaining to me that her relationship with her mother is strained at best, and yours isn't exactly close-knit either; couldn't she have just wanted to keep a horrible truth from you, so you could have a chance at a mother-son relationship with Doris?"

Steve had nothing to say to that.

"'sides, you lied to her about yourself, someone she was much closer to than her mother. You both lied to each other. As I see it, you're even."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

_(The next day; Governor Denning's office)_

"I received your notification, Commander," the governor told him the next day when they met in his office. "It says that there is a family emergency, and that you require a few days off work to take care of it."

"Yes, Sir," Steve answered succinctly. He had a feeling this discussion wouldn't be over that easily, but he intended to try to keep his private life as private as possible in the face of the governor's curiosity. He'd never asked him for days off before, except to participate in the reserve drills that were still part of his duty to the Navy. It may be arrogant of him, but he didn't think the governor could refuse him this request, nor should he stick his nose into Steve's business. He hoped the man could just take his word at face value.

"Far be it from me to keep you from your family, Commander, but as far as I'm aware, you have no family left on the island. Is something wrong with your sister?"

"No, Sir. Mary is fine. I spoke to her a few weeks ago."

"Then, may I ask, why you're requesting this... holiday? If you're tired, Commander, there is no shame in-"

"No, Sir. I'm fine, but it is a private matter, and I'd rather not say," Steve explained in one last attempt to get the governor off his back.

"I understand the importance of privacy, but I'm afraid I can't grant you an emergency leave without knowing that there is indeed an emergency," the governor replied seriously. He didn't take enjoyment out of forcing McGarrett to tell him something the man didn't want him to know, but he had standards to uphold. An emergency vacation was not something he took lightly. He watched as the man before him fidgeted uncomfortably, and almost gave in. In all the time McGarrett had worked for him, he'd never seen him so uncomfortable. He'd been angry at being assigned Agent Weston as a 'babysitter' as she had put it, but he hadn't been uncomfortable, not like this. Whatever this was about, must be truly important and very private to make the former SEAL fidget nervously in his office.

"I has to do with a former friend of mine," the officer began, and Denning raised an eyebrow at the word 'former'. If this was a former friend, then where was the emergency?! Denning was about to interrupt him with his question when McGarrett decided to clear up any misunderstandings. "She's pregnant. It's mine."

The governor was suddenly grateful that he was already seated. The firm monotone in which McGarrett delivered these news would have had him sink down into his chair anyway. He sounded completely uninvolved, though Denning suspected that that was a facade – something he'd been trained to do in the military, no doubt. He and McGarrett would never be friends, and often didn't see eye to eye, but he knew that the man before him couldn't be as unaffected by the news of becoming a father as he pretended to be.

"The mother and I are not on the best of terms at the moment. I need a few days to fix things."

"Commander, if things are as bad as your tone and choice of words suggest they are, a few days of leave are not going to do you much good. Also, I'd still expect you to be available for emergencies on the islands as well."

"I know that, sir, but I need to start somewhere, create a basis with which to work. She nearly lo-" He interrupted himself, and did not take up that sentence again. "Sir, I would not ask if it weren't important, and, quite frankly, sir, I think I deserve a few days off for services rendered if nothing else. I-"

Denning raised his hands in an appeasing manner, then signed the necessary papers without further protest. McGarrett nodded at him, and was out the door before the governor had a chance to say something else. The older man looked after him even as he'd already disappeared into the other room.

"I sure hope you find what you're looking for, son."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

"Whoa, that's some story, brah," Kono commented once Danny had finished telling them his and Steve's latest adventure. "So Catherine is pregnant with the boss' baby, and he almost exploded at her?"

"It's hard to believe. That doesn't really sound like McGarrett at all," Chin added thoughtfully.

"I know," Danny answered. "He doesn't seem to know what to do with himself either. He is this big ball of emotions, hot and cold, and he doesn't know what to do about it. He's confused more than anything, I think."

"I get that!", Kono agreed instantly. "This situation is crazy. They should kiss and make up."

"It's not always that simple, cuz. I'm not sure this can be fixed, but if it can, then it will take time and effort on both sides, and I'm not sure I'd be willing to try if I were Catherine. After everything that has gone down lately..."

They stood in silence around their computerized table.

"You know what I don't understand?!", Danny asked suddenly. "Here are two people who've got a good thing going – the real deal – and they're both too blind to see it until it's too late, and all manners of problems have come crashing down on them like a tsunami... I mean I get that he's angry. The woman he loves lies to him, of course that makes him angry, but instead of talking it out, he just... gives up... on God knows how many years of _them_."

"You're wrong, Danny," Steve's voice makes their heads snap around to him. "I don't love Catherine. Certainly not after all of that."

Danny turned around to Steve more fully, and the former SEAL could see the same pitying and exasperated look on his friend's face that he'd worn yesterday, before informing him of his abysmal chances in a court. Steve raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what Danny had to say this time, though he wasn't completely sure he wanted to hear it today. Bastion of calm or not, there were times when Danny's well-meant advice and intent to share his opinions were not appreciated by his partner. Steve had a feeling this was one of these occasions.

"You think love is this fragile, ethereal little thing, don't you, Steve?", the detective asked, severity coloring his voice. "But it's not. Even after Rachel left me, divorced me, moved here with another man, even after I lost my dog, my Santa suit, and even Grace to an extent as I only see her every other weekend, really... After all of that, I still loved her."

Steve just looked at him blankly.

"Then I obviously never felt for Catherine that way at all."

He made to leave just as Danny pressed his lips together angrily.

"Then you're a fool," the detective told his friend. "She's a great woman, and one day some dashing guy is going to sweep her off her feet, and show her that. Then your kid will be living with a more available daddy right there with them while you'll be left looking in through the window... Now where were we? Oh, yes – phone records. Kono?"

Five-0 reluctantly returned to their case, but Danny's words still hounded Steve's steps as he left.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Upon arriving at Catherine's house, he was greeted by two not-too-happy looking brothers. He hadn't really expected a warm welcome, but after the day's already draining events, he didn't think he had the strength or the patience to confront their antagonism. Nick was standing on the veranda, still a safe distance away from him, so it was Connor who came walking toward him in greeting. The younger man stopped right in front of him. They were pretty much the same height, which made staring each other down all the easier.

"I'm not here for a staring contest," Connor informed him crisply.

_Neither am I_, Steve thought quietly to himself. He didn't want to make the situation worse than it was anyway by saying it out loud.

"You needn't have come here," Connor told him without hiding his anger at Steve as if he'd read the other man's mind. It became clear that he'd played nice in the hospital room for his sister's sake, but he obviously wasn't about to let Steve get away with his behavior now.

"I know that I acted... horribly yesterday. I don't know why I did it, but I came here to try to make things ri- better. I want to be a part of this, but I can't do that until I've fixed things with your sister. I need to speak to her."

"Oh, I absolutely agree. Especially if speaking to her includes a huge, sincere and well-deserved apology. What I meant was that she isn't here."

Steve looked at him, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"She went for a swim this morning, then got dressed, and drove away in her Corvette. She said she wanted to be alone for a bit."

Steve was already turning around, mumbling that he would find her, when Connor grabbed his arm, and yanked him back. He forcefully turned Steve to face him again, uncaring that this was technically his superior officer. He stared the older man down for another few minutes, before briefly looking back at his brother. Nick had still not moved from his spot on the veranda, but it was only a matter of time if McGarrett stayed here any longer. Connor knew he needed to wrap this up quickly, but conclusively.

"Listen to me carefully now, McGarrett, because I'm only going to say this once. I may be the nice brother, and I honestly want you to fix this, but if you ever pull a stunt like you did yesterday again, I will see how you like being slammed into a wall and worse even if I'm court-martialed and discharged. You pull something like yesterday again, I'll make absolutely sure you never see my sister or my niece or nephew ever again, so help me God. If I have to fake her signature on a transfer request to Norfolk or overseas, and then drag her off this island myself – do you understand me?!"

Steve only nodded. The man's statement didn't require a verbal answer, and he couldn't have conveyed his understanding better with words anyway. They looked at each other until Connor was sure that McGarrett had meant that nod. He let him go, and turned back to the house without watching the other SEAL leave. Steve had known his sister for years, so Connor had little doubt that he would find her wherever she had decided to go to think. Hopefully, he'd bring her back to the house.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

She was exactly where he thought she would be, standing on the rocky shore and looking out onto the endless sea. She was wearing flat shoes for once, so that she could safely get as close to the waterline as she dared. The breeze was playing with her calf-length candy-striped dress, accentuating her pregnancy in what Steve could only consider a favorable manner. She looked radiant with her hair being whisked in all directions and the soft light of the sun shining on her skin. He was transfixed as he drew closer, attracted to her side like a moth to the flame. She must have noticed his approach, but she didn't turn around to greet him, not even when he came to a stop right next to her.

"You remembered," was all she said, and he knew immediately what she was talking about. She'd taken him hear during her first leave after his father's death. He'd still been grieving, and receiving her condolences in person had torn at him a little more. Even their time together under the stars couldn't hide that. He'd found her in a black dress in his kitchen packing a picnic basket the next morning. She'd taken him by hand, and driven all the way out here in her Corvette without ever saying a word. She'd led him onto the stones carefully, and laid out a blanket she'd found in his house. Only once they'd been seated had she explained.

"You said this was where you always came to think when you were on Oahu, and something was bothering you. How could I forget?"

"Typically, it would have been you," she admitted. "You'd be on some mission God knows where, and I'd be worried that the next time I saw you would be at a sea burial. I'd come out here if I could get leave, just stare at the ocean for hours, and let its endlessness calm me."

He didn't know what to say to that, but she didn't give him a chance to answer anyway.

"Why did you come to find me, Steve? More threats?"

That struck him, but he couldn't blame her. He'd been horrible to her yesterday. She had no reason to assume that today would be any different. He'd tried to make things right yesterday, and only managed to hurt her more. She had every right to wonder if 'making things right' to him meant to threaten or harm her. She had every right to want him gone, to send him away, yet she did not act on this. Instead she just looked at the waves, and the expression on her face was so vulnerable that he only wanted to hug her. He knew that was out of the question, though.

"Cath, listen-"

"Don't call me that!" she cut him short firmly. "I told you not to call me that. You have no right to anymore."

His eyebrows knit together in frustration..

"Then what should I call you, Lieutenant Rollins?"

Her head snapped around to him so fast, he almost took a step back. The look in her eyes was furious.

"If you think that after everything that has happened I'm going to address you as 'sir' even once when either of us is out of uniform, you're delusional. You have no right to claim that form of reverence."

"Then what should I call you," he asked more calmly. He was afraid this might escalate like their last few conversations otherwise.

"My full name will do," she informed him curtly. At least she didn't turn back around, but instead moved to face him fully.

"Alright, Catherine... I came to apologize for the way I have been treating you. It wasn't right, and I don't know why I did it, but I don't want to go on that way, and I don't want it to ruin whatever is left of... us."

"I'm not sure if there is much left at all."

"I know," Steve sighed. "Why did you lie to me, Cath...rine?"

"I already told you-"

"But I wasn't listening," he cut in. "That night I wasn't listening, and after everything we've been through together in the last seven years you deserve that much. You deserve to have me listen to what you to say, no matter the outcome. I came here today to do that. Please tell me."

She looked him in the face, trying to decide if he was being truthful with her. He didn't move, didn't look away, and didn't hide himself behind an impassive facade like he did so many other times when something threatened to touch him. Catherine inclined her head to the side as she studied him, wondering if this was the same Steve that had all but hissed at her like a snake only yesterday. She had barely recognized him then, but now he seemed to have gone back to the caring Steve she had known in the last seven years, and she could stand that almost less than the cold, angry one who had come to visit her in the hospital.

"After everything you've had to deal with ever since your father's murder, I didn't want you to worry over losing your mother, too, and again at that. You'd only just found her again, and when I went after her to save her from Mangosta I found her happily torturing him. When she asked me to keep it a secret, I thought maybe, if you didn't know, you could salvage your relationship with your mother." Her voice was firm, but calm. Her eyes were searching his face as if to see if he were truly listening, and he held her gaze steadfastly.

"Like you couldn't salvage your relationship with yours?"

Catherine blinked at him, surprised. Evidently, this thought had not crossed her mind before.

"Maybe... I don't know anymore, but I _am_ sorry. I should have told you."

There was a long moment of silence as they looked at each other.

"I believe you. I don't know how I feel about you lying to me, though," he confessed.

"Oh, because I've been happy with the millions of lies you have been telling me since we met," she snorted, and now it was her turn to be angry. The gall of the man! "You slam me into a wall, you throw me out of your house without even granting me a chance to explain had I not taken it, then you call me weeks later, and it is for a favor. Of course it is; it's the only reason you ever call me when I'm on deployment. The next time we speak, you don't even let me get a word out, causing a misunderstanding of phenomenal proportions as I think you want me to get an abortion."

She spit the last word at him like it was something hideous. He flinched. Everything she'd said so far was more than true. She had lied to him, but it had been he who had made everything ten times worse with every action and every word. Not for the first time did he wish he had just let her speak in that dance club. Things could have gone so differently. He didn't know how anything he had said and done resembled a lie, though, but he had a feeling she was about to tell him in intimate detail. He would not like it.

"That's when the real confusion starts, because I know you, and part of me can't believe you would say that or mean it. So I wait, because I think you will call to take it back, but you don't, and when I finally decide to live my life again, there you are. We're practically in the same damn situation as in that stupid dance club, and then I start bleeding, and as horrible as it is, for a moment all I can think is: this is exactly what he wanted from the start; now he's getting his wish!"

"I never-" Steve attempted to protest, but she had merely paused to take a breath.

"You know what the worst part is, though. It's the lies that I've believed for years now. We were just sex at the beginning, then we became friends... with benefits. Then, I thought...but that was it for you, wasn't it? I felt safe when I was in your arms, I felt cared about, but every kiss, every caress, every rare gesture of affection – they were all lies, weren't they?!... It would explain why you never called me for anything but favors, why you never told me about Wo Fat or anything that went on in your life here. You went to prison, and I wasn't even worth a call to tell me, or to have Danny call me. Withholding information is tantamount to lying in your book, right?! So every piece of your life that you hid from me, and that was pretty much all of it, makes for a lot of lies."

She looked at him desperately.

"There was never an _us_, was there? Were we even friends, or was I just good to keep around for favors and sex?... You never cared for me at all. So what exactly are you trying to salvage?"

"Our friendship, because whether you believe me or not, I did care for you," he said, and suddenly he knew that he was lying to her now more than ever. He didn't want to salvage their friendship, because it wasn't only friendship that he wanted from her. Danny had been right all along; he had loved her and he loved her still – even after everything. He didn't want to be friends who shared a kid; he wanted her, body and soul. Her heart, too. More than anything, he wanted her heart, but he knew that wasn't possible anymore. He'd pushed her away one too many times, hurt her too often and too deeply just recently; he would be lucky if she let him help her raise their kid. If he couldn't have her love, he wanted at least her friendship even if he had to lie to her, and pretend that that was all he ever wanted.

He swallowed before continuing.

"You were my best friend for years. I told you things about me that I'd never mention to another living soul, and the only reason I didn't tell you about Wo Fat was because I wanted to protect you from all of that. My team didn't have a choice because they were always around me, and Mary got dragged into it because she's related to me, but you... We were so rarely in the same time zone that to Wo Fat, if he even knew about your existence, you must have seemed insignificant, and as long as he believed that, you were safe. Safer than any of us. The others didn't have a choice, but you could escape all that."

"I didn't have a choice either, Steve, because you made it for me," she countered firmly, and touched her stomach gently. "I never had a choice in this! Parents make decisions for their children because they're not mature enough to make them for themselves, but a man never makes decisions for a woman he shares any sort of relationship with. You took that choice from me, and now look at us. We've both lied and hurt each other, and the trust between us is all but gone. Where do we go from here?"

He placed his hand carefully over both of hers, hoping she wouldn't flinch away. She looked up at him, and it was clear that she wasn't comfortable with his touch, but she let it continue as he took both her hands in his.

"A truce," he said without hesitation. He even knew where to begin. "Is our baby going to be a boy or a girl?"

She sighed, but squeezed his hands gently, making it clear that she was willing to change topics and grateful for it. They were done arguing, at least for today.

"I don't know." When she saw his questioning look, she elaborated. "I told the doctor I didn't want to know."

"Why not?"

"_I _love surprises; _you're_ the one who hates them."

"Wouldn't it help with stuff, though? Like painting the nursery."

Catherine huffed indignantly.

"Neither pink nor baby blue are getting anywhere near my kid!"

After a moment of silence had followed that fiery statement, they burst out laughing together. He knew she was right. Being a girl didn't mean to love only fairies and unicorns, and wanting to be a princess when grown up, she was proof of that. Steve couldn't see Catherine raising a boy to be all tough and unable to show emotion either. They'd both get eye cancer from pink or baby blue anyway.

"Which color should I get, then?"

She looked at him.

"Well, you said it yourself: this is going to take time and effort, and I'm sure your brothers will be happy to help painting a nursery at your house, but I told you I want to be in, too. Also, I thought I could convert my old room into the room for our child in my father's house for sleepovers and stuff... I mean, if...uh..."

"I kinda like a light sunshine yellow or maybe pastel green."

**End of chapter 8!**

**A/N:** Okay, I'm officially taking suggestions for baby names now. Boys' and girls' names as I haven't decided yet which sex the baby will have. Recommendations on that would also be great. Thanks!

This is the last regular update as my internship will start tomorrow. Future updates until October will depend on how much writing I can get done in my  
free time. As this is also the last Revelations chapter I thought it was an appropriate mid-season break... I'll do what I can to get the next chapter online soon, but I just don't know what to expect from my internship yet, except odd hours.

**(1) **I'm not sure if this is true for the US, actually, but I know that in Germany the mother is favored when it comes to custody.


	9. Time

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**A/N:** Thank you Miahbug for beta-ing.

**Chapter 9: Time**

Steve accompanied her home, following her Corvette in his truck. At the moment she was equally glad and disturbed by this. She was glad, because she was so shaken by today's events that she was only half-concentrating on the road at times, and they were going pretty slow due to this. She knew Steve would look out for her, and honk if he realized that she wasn't paying enough attention to something. She knew it might still be too late if that happened, but she just couldn't keep her mind from worrying. That was why she was disturbed; her thoughts kept wandering back to their conversation on the rocky shore. She felt like she had gotten some answers, yet at the same time she seemed to know less about him than ever. His erratic behavior the day before made her even more uneasy around him, but in the seemingly endless minutes spent on the rocks, she had found no fault in him or his actions.

He said that he had cared for her, that she had been his friend, and that should give her some peace as she had been wondering for months, no, years now what exactly it was between them. No peace was forthcoming, though. Instead her heart ached with the inevitable knowledge that he had not loved her in return. She couldn't fathom how she was supposed to raise a kid with him, but not with him. She didn't know how to handle being so close, yet knowing that all he ever felt for her had been friendship and camaraderie. And desire of course. The purely physical attraction between them had never lacked in intensity, but how she could have extrapolated an entire relationship from that when there was none on his part, she did not understand. How could she have been so wrong about him? About them?

Now they were stuck with each other in a way more binding than love or sex. Feelings may be fleeting but children were for life. There was no way to walk their separate ways, to create separate lives now. Like Danny and Rachel they were tied together by the little life they had created. There was no way around it, and it was breaking her heart all over again. She wished she could just be happy with knowing the truth. She hoped she would learn to be some day, but despite everything he had put her through recently, she still loved him. Why couldn't that feeling just have died with every mean word, every harsh reaction of his? Why couldn't it have broken apart and fallen away with the truth she had discovered?

They were at her house. Nick and Connor came out the door with grave expressions, but she paid them no mind. As she cut off the engine, she took a moment to lean back into her seat, and press a hand against her forehead as the other carelessly went through her tresses in frustration. She took a deep breath to clear her mind, wiped away a stray tear she refused to show the man who had broken her heart more than once, and who she had stuck with anyway so he could break it again, and climbed out of the car. Steve was waiting for her on the sidewalk, a concerned expression on his face as she labored to get into a standing position. When he made a move to help her, she waved him away. She was pregnant, not crippled. She could damn well make it out of her own car even if it took her a little longer than usual.

"You look... peaceable enough," Connor commented wryly as he looked them both over.

"Yes." Catherine forced the word out. She didn't really feel like talking. "We worked some things out."

"Still a long way to go, though," Steve chimed in, his eyes never leaving her. She glanced at him, knowing he was right. She just didn't know how to do this without getting hurt again, but she knew she had to find a way for the baby's sake if nothing else. She gave a sigh, and nodded at him.

"Well, you'll have some extra time to work on it. This came from Pearl base while you were away," Nick informed them, and handed Catherine a white envelope. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up; she knew she was unlikely to take this as good news. She took the envelope anyway, giving her brothers a look for opening her mail. Both men shrugged, not the least bit apologetic. As she took the document out, she knew why.

"Medical leave of absence," she explained as Steve tried to read the print over her shoulder.

"Yeah, your leave has been extended for another week, and after that you're going to be placed on restricted duty until you go on maternity leave."

"Restricted duty? I already have a desk job, what are they gonna do?"

"Less working hours," Steve guessed. She turned to him, not at all happy. "Hey, this is good. You've gone through so much recently; this way you get some extra down time. You can rest up for when the baby is born."

"Rest up? Right. Bored to death is more like it," she snorted back. "I love my job, and now I won't even be allowed to do that. Intelligence work is time-consuming. A few hours a day are not enough. I might as well be doing nothing. I hate being useless!"

Steve watched as a frustrated tear escaped to trickle down her face, and he wanted to step up to her to wipe it away, but Catherine had already turned into her older brother's arms. She had not looked at him once before doing that, and it made his heart clench that she couldn't even seek comfort from him for something so trivial – not that he didn't value her work; he knew how important good Intel was. It was merely trivial because it didn't involve their inter-personal problems. It didn't seem to matter, though. Not to her. Catherine had clearly decided that she couldn't trust him in any capacity anymore – not even as a friend. This would be harder than he thought.

"It could be worse," Connor informed them. "They could have completely suspended you from duty, and ordered you to maintain strict bed rest after what happened yesterday."

"But the doctor said the baby was fine. The placenta is in the right place, and there are no signs of a tubal pregnancy. He couldn't find a reason for the bleeding. He said it might have been stress and hormones (1)."

"The fact that he doesn't know is what worries me the most," Nick stated calmly. "They can't treat what they don't know; what if you have another one of those episodes?"

He threw a sidelong glance at Steve as he said this. The other SEAL averted his eyes, guilt written clearly on his face. They both knew that if it had been stress, besides her being taken hostage, he was probably the mains stress factor. Raising his eyes to meet Nick's again, Steve silently vowed that he would not add to her stress again. He had wanted to fix their relationship, and he would make sure Catherine would be comfortable around him. She would feel safe with him again, no matter what he had to do to achieve that goal.

"Unfortunately," Connor added, "Nick and I still have to be back on base the day after tomorrow. Our leave has not been extended, and it was actually quite the miracle that we could spend this week with you as it is."

"Yeah, we were lucky no one tried to take over the world while we catered to your every whim," Nick joked.

"I wasn't that bad."

The brother exchanged a meaningful look.

"I seem to remember someone dying for some vanilla ice cream with smoked salmon in the middle of the night."

"Shut up," was all Catherine could say to that as a pretty flush spread from her cheeks down to her neck before she mumbled on. "I didn't eat it together."

Steve couldn't help but smile. This little piece of information was something so... normal for a pregnant woman that he found it quite endearing. Catherine had never done anything by everyone else's standards; she had always been true to herself in and out of uniform, and the thought that she could be typical in any sense of the word amused him. Her glance kept flitting to him this time, and her insistence that her brothers be quiet suggested that his opinion did matter in some small way at least. It gave Steve some sense of relief knowing that not all was lost. If his opinion mattered to her, then he wasn't totally out of her good graces, and he had something to work with, Starting as soon as possible.

"Hey, I should go home now. It's getting a bit late, but I was thinking...", he piped up just as Catherine lightly shoved Nick away from her in mock anger. She threw him a glance that said 'don't hurt yourself, sailor' which had his smile widen. She didn't say it, but it was clear on her face, and if she could joke with him... well, he could work with that, too. It was good to see her smile at him again even if it was at his expense. "I could come by tomorrow, and we could get started on that nursery."

Catherine flushed a little deeper at the reminder. She looked around to her brothers for confirmation. While Connor openly smiled, Nick merely shrugged, but she took that as consent, so she turned back to Steve with a nod.

"Yeah, I'd like that," she whispered quietly, not looking at him.

His smile grew a little more, though it lost some of his brightness when he said his goodbye. Connor got a handshake, Nick got a nod, and those were the easy ones. When it was Catherine's turn, neither of them seemed to know quite what to do. He wanted to hug her, but feared it might be too soon. A handshake was completely out of the question as well. It was too impersonal. They danced around the issue with some awkward hums and silences, until they settled for small smiles and see-you-tomorrows.

Catherine stood in front of her house until his car had disappeared down the street. The smile was still on her face, but it became strained as she wondered again what to do with him. Nick had observed his sister more closely, and could tell that something was bothering her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, and pulled her to him until her back molded into his chest. She turned around slightly to lean her cheek against his shoulder. The little peak he could throw at her face out of the corner of his eyes told him that her expression had grown somewhat somber.

"Are you sure about this? You know you don't have to deal with him."

"Yes, I do and I am."

"Catherine..."

"Nick, he's the baby's father, _my_ baby's father, and I'm not going to just take that away from him or from my child. Connor was right all along. It was all a misunderstanding," she told him firmly. "That doesn't magically make everything better, and it doesn't take the hurt away, but he has a right to be a part of this if he wants to."

Nick remained silent for a little while.

"What about yesterday? What about four months ago? He's already abused you, what's to stop him from doing it again?! Do you really want someone like that around your baby? What if he does it to him or her?"

"I'd gut him in his sleep before I'd ever let him hurt my baby, and you know that," Catherine retorted angrily. The thought that Steve could hurt his kid was laughable, and if she could find it laughable after how he treated her, that was saying something. "Besides he didn't abuse me. It's not like he hit me or anything."

"Yesterday I thought he might. For a moment, so did you. Don't deny it! That's why you stood up to him so fiercely. A perp with a gun is one thing, but you'd never take that from a boyfriend or lover or whatever you call him."

"I... I was worried for a split-second." Catherine felt shame at having to admit that she had considered that Steve might strike her. She should have known that he never would, no matter how angry he was. He had been downright furious with her the night he discovered her omission, but he hadn't hit her, and he had let her go after a short while. "But that's not like him. I don't know what got into him, but he'd never hurt his child. I know he wouldn't, and I have to do this. I have to give him the chance to know his kid. His father sent him away as a teenager, and he barely spoke to him as an adult. I _don't wa__nt_ my child to grow up with an absentee father."

"Alright. It's your decision, but if he hurts you again..."

"I'll have his own SEAL team kick his butt. He always complained that they like me better than him," she informed her brother with a grin. "Now, I have to call Commander Klesko to reschedule my appointment for tomorrow."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

As he was driving home, his cell phone started to ring. Steve took a look at the caller ID, and cursed under his breath. The last thing he needed right now was an emergency that needed him. He hadn't really expected to make it through the next five days without an emergency, but he had hoped that he'd at least get a day or two without his job interfering. The phone stopped ringing as he'd not answered, and the system was set to go to voice mail after the third ring. He didn't bother calling his partner back, and his cell phone rang again. Steve grinned. He knew Danny so well.

"Alright, I'm here. Where's the emergency?"

"Nowhere, this is a private call. How did it go?", Danny's voice rang through the connection, leaving Steve a bit stumped. He had been sure this call was going to ruin his day. Guess Danny still had a few tricks up his sleeve. Steve paused to think over his answer. Telling Danny everything would take ages, his partner would probably decide to come visit him for all the details, and he just wanted some peace and quiet tonight. He had a feeling that tomorrow would be a long day. Not answering Danny would get the same reaction, so he needed to choose his words carefully.

"Better than expected," he finally said. "We've reached a truce. I'm going to help her brothers paint the nursery tomorrow."

"Whoa, don't you think you're running a little too fast?! Yesterday you were in her face, and tomorrow you're gonna be spending the day at her place? I think you need to take it slower than that. Baby steps, Steven, baby steps."

"At that rate I won't see her again until our baby will take its first steps, Danny," Steve retorted. "I only have five days of leave. God knows when I'll see her again afterward. I have to try to fix this, at least get a solid basis; I don't have time for baby steps."

"I hear you, man," Danny relented, though he didn't sound entirely convinced. Steve could picture his friend's scrunched up, unhappy face perfectly. "Alright, do you need any help? Moral support, perhaps? Chin and Kono are still here – I'm calling from the office, by the way – I'm sure we could work something out to keep you company throughout the day. I'm not sure you can be left alone with her two SEAL brothers."

The emphasis on their occupation made it clear to Steve that Danny worried he might incur their wrath, and be at the receiving end of all kinds of bodily harm. Steve smiled fondly as he imagined Danny, Chin and Kono working out a rota, so that one of them could come help him with the nursery - cough, brothers, cough. He had been really lucky that HPD had assigned a haole to his father's case, or he might never have gathered his ohana around himself. They were a great family; they always stuck together.

"Nah, brah, I'll be fine."

"You sure, babe?"

"Yes, at least not tomorrow. No need to piss the governor off by skipping work. I think Cath...erine and I need this to work it all out," he answered him honestly, "but, you know, if you guys are not too busy the day after..."

"You could use some help after all?"

"Yeah. Nick and Connor have to report back to duty, and I think Cath...erine is not quite comfortable with being alone with me... in her house."

The implication was clear, and he could hear Danny grunt affirmatively on the other end of the line. His partner had given him the tongue-lashing of his life once he had told him about what had transpired in his house a few months back. Then, once that was done, Danny hadn't talked to him for three days, and if his loudly voice opinion hadn't been a clue, his absolute silence ran it home with Steve how incredibly pissed his partner was at him over what he'd done. Danny knew, though, that he wanted to make up for that, wanted to make things right again, and he knew that Danny would help him.

It pained him that he wasn't completely honest with his friend, but he couldn't shoulder the conversation that his epiphany on the rocky shore would initiate. Not at the moment. Maybe, when the dust had settled a little, he would tell Danny about his realization that he did love that woman, and then maybe, just maybe his partner would help him with that, too. Get her back or get over her, he wasn't sure which of those yet.

**End of chapter 9!**

**A/N: **Well, hopefully he figures it out soon. As always I hope you liked it, and I'm sorry that updates are coming so slowly at the moment.

**(1)** Catherine is around 4 ½ months pregnant. Bleeding during this time of pregnancy is rare, and can be very dangerous. The main reasons are that the placenta is in the wrong place or that it is a tubal pregnancy. Sex and ultra-sounds can also cause bleeding. While it should never be taken lightly, it doesn't have to be dangerous. There are cases when no anatomical reasons can be found, and the women carry to term. They are typically given a sick certificate, though. Hence, one more week of leave for Catherine. **Be aware that I'm not an expert, and that nothing said or implied about pregnancy in this fic is to be taken at face value**.


	10. Effort (Part 1)

**Trust**

**Summary: **Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

**Pairings:** Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

**A/N:** Beta-ed by Miahbug. Thank you for taking the time to do this.

**Chapter 10: Effort (Part I)**

The next two days went surprisingly well. Connor and Steve got along just fine when Steve was on his best behavior, and, while there was still quite a bit of tension between Nick and Steve, they were civil to each other. They managed to get the paint without major incidents while Connor and she prepared the room for painting. There had been no furniture to remove as she had never needed to use the second bedroom in her house, so they just laid out the sheet to protect her good hardwood floor, and taped it to the edges of the wall. Once the boys came back, Catherine was banished from the room. They weren't going to spray the paint on, but the men were not taking chances that fumes from the drying paint might harm her or the baby.

Since the room itself was already a pale blue color, they would be spending the day turning it white again so that they'd have a pristine canvas to work on. Nick and Connor would not be here tomorrow, but Steve had assured them that his team would help out. Catherine couldn't believe the week was over already. She had planned on getting them to paint the room, but the days had just passed her by without her taking notice. She'd originally thought they could start on the day they met Steve again, but it had been such a nice day outside that she had not been able to resist her brothers' plan to whisk her away to the beach. It hadn't turned out as the relaxing day they had intended her to have, but if they hadn't gone, they wouldn't have met Steve, and maybe this horrible misunderstanding would not have been cleared up.

When Catherine left, awkward silence descended between the men. Steve and Nick were gauging each other with Connor stuck in the middle. The dark-haired man sighed internally as he surveyed the situation. His brother and his... he wasn't quite sure what to call Steve anymore, either way, they would certainly not become friends any time soon. Connor counted his blessings that they managed to be in the same room without fighting or _fighting_. He grabbed a can of snow white paint, dipped a paint roller in it, and handed both to Steve. The SEAL breathed in noticeably, and when he took hold of the objects he seemed almost grateful for the peace offering. Nick turned away with a grunt to grab his own paint roller. Steve only applied a few lines of color when he all but threw his tool back down.

"Look," he blurted, "I know you don't like me-"

"Ya think?!", the older brother scoffed. "More importantly, I don't trust you. I don't see why you should even be allowed within a mile of this house, but Cat seems to see something worthwhile left in you. Personally, I think she sees it more in the baby than anywhere else."

That stung, and Steve turned his head away with a jerk. He couldn't help but wonder if Nick was right though. Was Catherine giving him a chance for its own sake, or did she feel obliged because her unborn child shared half of their gene pool with him?

"I get that," was all he said. "It's... what I fear."

"Fear?", Connor questioned frowning.

Steve licked his lips, unsure of what to say or how much to reveal. If there was just Connor, he was pretty sure he'd spill just about everything, including how he still had feelings for Catherine and didn't know what to do with it. He had a notion that Connor would listen, maybe even give some advice besides staying away from his sister. With Nick being there the situation was too volatile for such confessions. Steve's gaze shifted between the two brothers' expectant faces, and turned his palms to face them as if that motion would somehow make him easier to understand.

"I really do want to fix this. I know you don't believe me now, maybe you never will, and I can understand that, but I really, really do... The trust Catherine lost in me; that's gone for me too! Your sister was one of the few people I trusted implicitly, and now I can't look at her without thinking what else she might have kept from me."

"You are not explaining yourself very well, Steve," Conner told him matter-of-factly. He was not judging, merely pointing out what he perceived. The expression on his face was open and curious; he really wanted to know. Even Nick looked slightly intrigued. He had probably never considered the situation beyond his sister's suffering, which had been great. Steve raised his hand so as to make it clear that he wasn't trying to diminish what she had gone through.

"I want to get back to that point where I knew your sister so well she was like an extension of myself. I'm afraid that Catherine doesn't want that, that she is just tolerating me because of the baby."

"What about your... outbursts?" Connor looked him squarely in the eyes. "I told you, nice brother or not, if you hurt my sister..."

"I know. That scares me too. I don't know where they come from, or why they happen," Steve admitted. "But I won't let any harm come to Catherine."

"Catherine or the baby?", Nick countered. "Why are you really here? Are you trying to fix things because of who you two were, or because you're going to have a child together?"

"...both."

Steve's voice was soft, but grave. Both brothers frowned, either not quite understanding what he'd said or thinking about it carefully. Maybe they weren't sure which question he had answered, and maybe he wasn't sure himself. The brothers exchanged a long glance that made Steve shift uncomfortably on his feet. When they went back to scrutinizing him, he grew even more uncomfortable. He felt like all his thoughts and feelings were lying bare, being stripped from him with every second that ticked by. They were watching him so intently, he felt like he was being studied under a microscope.

"Hey."

The three of them jerked around to see Catherine standing in the door with a suspicious expression.

"Hey," they mumbled in unison as if they'd never seen her before.

"It's so quiet up here, I thought I better check no one had died," she told them as she crossed into the room until she reached Steve. She touched his arm with hesitation and a nervous smile. "Hey, you okay?"

Steve glanced around quickly, neither of the men willing to meet his eyes.

"Ya, ya I'm fine."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

The rest of the day had passed too quickly. By the time the men had finished painting everything white a second time, the day had progressed well into mid-afternoon, and there was nothing more to be done for the day as the paint needed to dry. They had taken a break a few hours earlier to let the first layer dry, and used the time to have a quick lunch. When they had come down the stairs to meet Catherine in the living room, she might have doubled over laughing if the Navy hadn't instilled her with a strict sense of countenance. There had been droplets of white all over their clothes, on their faces and even in their hair. From a few strategically placed smears on bare arms and cheeks, Catherine could tell that Connor and Steve had attempted some simplistic form of body art on each other. Nick had shaken his head as he had walked past her, mumbling something about a paint brush duel. She'd grinned, and sent them to wash up before either of them dare to sit down at her table.

When their second film of paint was drying it was too early for dinner, yet by the time it would be ready to be further worked upon, it would be too late already. So they changed out of their clothes while Catherine prepared some iced tea. When she brought them each a glass out of the kitchen, she found her brothers must have gone upstairs to get some new clothes. Steve had already taken off the dungarees he'd used over the day, and was shrugging off his shirt. Catherine stopped dead in her tracks. This was not comfortable, and she marveled at that. She must have seen Steve shirtless hundreds of times, but it never stopped affecting her. Her breathing slowed, and she flushed slightly. He was gorgeous. The ink on his arms just highlighted their strength, and the light fluff of hair on his chest added a softness where there was nothing but hard, well-defined muscle. She remembered running her hands over those muscles, feeling his calloused fingers exploring her own skin, and, for a moment, her eyes became hooded with the memory. Then she shook herself free of that, and moved over to place the glasses onto the table next to him. He smiled at her, and it seemed to her such a knowing smile that she wondered if he had seen her let her eyes roam over him, but dismissed the thought. Steve would have never been able to bite back a lascivious comment if he had.

"Thank you," Steve told her quietly, "for letting me in on this."

She smiled slightly as she placed the last glass on the table.

"It's your baby, too."

He grasped her hand firmly before it could retreat back to clasp the tray on which she had brought in the drinks. He placed his other hand atop hers, and looked at her intently, shaking his head slowly but decisively.

"Don't," he entreated her. "You have no reason to trust me, let alone to let me near you and our child after everything, and I can imagine that this must have cost you quite an effort. Don't play this down."

Before she could formulate an answer, Nick and Connor came back down the stairs, and Steve released her hand with a last grateful squeeze. They chatted a while over their iced tea before he announced that he should be getting home. As she accompanied him to the door, she still didn't know what to do with her hands or how to say goodbye, but he took the decision from her when he gently clasped her left hand in his right one. Not shaking hands, not hugging, this was something that was awkward for neither of them. Smiling at her, he told her that he would see her tomorrow, then walked to his car with a light swing in his step. Catherine watched him go, and felt a shred of normalcy between them again for the first time.

The next day she pondered how quickly her life had done a one-eighty as she cut up tomatoes for the sandwiches she was making, then she looked at her hands, and half-laughed, half-panicked at how she was doing a housewife's work. She was no one's docile little housewife, had never intended to be. Now she was pregnant, scared of losing her baby, still somewhat on the outs with the father and chopping vegetables to make said man a sandwich. She finished up what she was doing, wrapped the sandwiches in protective foil, and returned to the living room just in time to hear the doorbell ringing. She went to open it, and found indeed his entire team in front of her doorstep, ready to apply some more paint, and finish getting the room ready.

It was quickly decided that the men would do the hard work while she and Kono put some furniture up. There was enough space in her house that it could be put together and left to wait for the paint to dry and the men to put up some shelves. Steve, Danny and Chin seemed genuinely enthusiastic about it, too, and Kono and she were left downstairs without so much as a second glance. The two women looked at each other as a single thought crossed their minds in unison.

"Boys," they agreed out loud.

"Seriously, give them a hammer and a paint brush, and they won't even take notice of you anymore," Kono mocked with a snort.

"I don't know about Chin and Danny, but that's Steve for you. I think he might just wither away if he didn't have something to do for any amount of time," Catherine replied with a fond smile that did not go unnoticed by the other woman.

"So, boss was good yesterday?", she asked, carefully navigating around the actual issue she was interested in. She knew a direct approach would get her no answers, whereas coming at Catherine sideways might garner some Intel.

"Well, there were no casualties," she answered with a little laugh, though she thought she might have to amend that statement as her pride had suffered a bit of a blow when she had flushed with heat over a shirtless Steve. Banishing the image from her mind, she began unpacking the pieces of the crib.

"Well, that's good. How about you and the boss; are you getting along?", Kono probed as she helped Catherine unpack some of the heavier pieces. The Navy officer had chosen a beautiful walnut crib, simple but elegant, from which one side of the bars could be removed if need be. The height of the steel bars could be changed, too. "Wow, this looks complicated. Couldn't you have had someone assemble it for you?"

"Yes, I could have, but then what would we be doing while the men work. I hate feeling useless, and I'm sure we can figure this out."

She paused a moment, trying to find the right words to answer Kono's first question. Both women sat down, and began to work in silence while she weighed her answer. They were already bustling away when Catherine finally spoke again. Kono looked up from her work, trying to gauge the other woman's mood. Her voice was soft, but Kono could tell there was a small waver of uncertainty in her tone. What had happened between her boss and his lady love had clearly shaken the both of them to the core, had damaged their trust, and now Catherine seemed not to know what to make of herself or their situation.

"Steve and I, well, we don't not get along," she finally said. She knew it was as good as no answer at all, but she didn't know how else to describe it. "He apologized for what happened at the hospital, and I'm sure he feels true remorse for the misunderstanding and the... physical abuse."

There was no other term for it even if it made both her and Kono flinch.

"That doesn't make everything alright, though," she added hastily. "Kono, for months I thought he had told me to kill our baby, and when he tells me that wasn't what he was saying, something snaps in him again, and I feel transported back to a horrible night... I... It's not just going to go away, no matter how much my brain is aware of how badly everything got messed up due to miscommunication."

Kono nodded sadly.

"We're trying, but... I don't know how much we can salvage. These last two days were good, but that's two days compared to over a hundred by now. What if it goes wrong again?"

"You'll manage," Kono told her, more confident than she felt. "Maybe you should aim higher."

"Higher?", Catherine asked, confused.

"Maybe salvaging isn't all you can do. Maybe you can build something better this time."

"I doubt it. He doesn't see me that way."

"'Cause he's blind, not because it isn't there. He's a guy, you have to expect some emotional brainlessness."

Catherine didn't dare say anything to that. There was nothing to say. Steve had made it very clear to the both of them that all he had ever seen her as had been a friend with whom he could share physical intimacy, but no emotional closeness. She had allowed herself to be fooled into thinking there could be more between them once, and had fallen hard for him. This was not going to be a repeat mistake. She knew Kono meant well, and might actually believe what she had told her, but Catherine wasn't walking down that road again. If it were true, Steve would have told her, at least on that beach when they had been honest with each other for perhaps the first time in the long years of their acquaintance.

Her phone rang, and she took it out of her pocket, thankful for the distraction. When she saw the caller id, Catherine frowned. She really didn't need any more problems, so she pressed the ignore button, switched her cell off, and put it away. Then she went over to her landline, and placed the receiver on the table. Kono raised her eyebrows.

"Unwanted advances?", she joked.

"No," Catherine snorted. "I just can't deal with her too right now. I love her, but all we ever do is fight."

"Her?", the young police officer prompted.

"Let's just say that Steve isn't the only one with mommy issues." And when she got her hands on Nick, he would be sorry.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

"So, how did it go with her brothers?", Danny asked into the quiet efficiency with which they had worked so far. "You look relatively unharmed."

Steve smirked, and stopped what he was doing to take his watch out of a pocket in his dungarees, and check the time. His smirk grew even wider as he turned to Chin, and held out his hand. The other man cursed silently before he dug a twenty dollar note out of his shirt pocket, and handed it over to his boss. Danny looked between the two of them. Catching on quickly, he sent them both peeved looks.

"You bet on me?"

"Yup, Chin bet that you wouldn't be able to hold on for five minutes; I said you'd wait at least an hour," Steve informed him unfazed. "I must say, though, even I didn't think that you'd last over three hours. I'm impressed, buddy."

"I'm very disappointed, Danny," Chin informed him.

"Funny," Danny told them sarcastically as the other two men chortled away at his expense. "Now, would you answer my question, or should I go downstairs and ask the lovely Catherine?"

That sobered Steve up quickly.

"It went as well as can be expected, Danny," he answered a bit miffed. Since when did Danny find Catherine lovely? "I think Connor likes me well enough, but he did say he was the nice brother, and even he warned me off treating his sister badly."

"Well, duh." Steve ignored him.

"Nick is not so trusting, and I doubt we'll ever be friends. Frankly, I think the only reason he tolerates me is for Catherine's sake and maybe the baby's... Can't say I blame him. If someone had pulled something like this with Mary, I'd probably have ripped them a new one already." Having said his piece, Steve turned his back on his partner with a sour expression on his face. He could feel Danny's eyes studying him for a moment before the detective's chuckle made him turn around to face him again. One of Danny's hands was covering his grinning mouth as if trying to suppress further expressions of merriment, and failing.

"Every pregnant woman is lovely, Steve. Take it from someone who knows," Danny said, deciding to put his friend out of his misery. "What I don't get is why it should irk you that I think Catherine is a very beautiful woman, inside and out. I thought she didn't mean anything to you romantically?"

Chin was looking between his two friends, and could almost grasp the mounting tension. Danny was playing with fire, that much was clear, but his resumption of yesterday's discussion distracted the SEAL long enough to defuse some of that tension. Their boss had grown stock still, and only his stormy eyes hinted at any turmoil in the man. Chin almost pitied Steve. Here was a man who could not seem to make up his mind on what he wanted. He felt betrayed by a woman he trusted, claimed he had nothing but friendship for her, yet he obviously couldn't stand his own partner paying her a compliment.

"What's the matter, Steve? Changed your mind on the lovely Catherine?", Danny probed further.

"Stop saying that about her."

"What? That she's lovely? She is. I can see it, and I'm sure most other men can too. It's a common adjective to describe a beautiful woman, but if you prefer some other ones, how about pretty, elegant, dazzling, stunning, gorgeous, beauteous, hot-"

"Okay, stop!", Steve cried out, and stormed out of the room.

"I hope that was the reaction you were looking for, brah," Chin commented dryly, then inclined his head in thought. "Beauteous, really?"

Danny shrugged.

"I read. Who's to say I don't read poetry. Besides, I was running out of words."

Meanwhile, Steve was rushing down the stairs not sure where he was going, or what he was looking to find. Why was he suddenly so bothered by how Danny took notice of Catherine's features. He knew that his partner had no interest in her, yet he couldn't stand to hear him say those words. As he reached the end of the stairs he heard quiet laughter. Turning around the corner, he found Catherine half-lying on the floor with Kono standing over her, and remained there transfixed. He guessed that she had tried to get up, but had found herself too heavy to easily lift herself off the floor. She truly was a lovely sight in white pants and a frilly blue shirt she would not be wearing if she weren't pregnant. She had told him that this kind of stuff was pretty much all that was produced for pregnant women. She had been glad that, at least, it wasn't all pink. Frilly or not, she looked... ripe. The growing swell of her belly only added to her beauty. The pregnancy imparted her skin with a glow and vibrancy that would make her stand out to him in a crowd. Then again, she had done that already the very first time they met. Catherine's feminine chuckles brought him out of his reverie, then died shortly after as she went to rub soothing circles over a leg: She extended it carefully to massage the parts she could reach.

"Are you alright?", Kono asked, kneeling down by her side.

"Yes, my leg is just beginning to fall asleep, but I don't think I can get off the floor by myself."

"Here, let me help you."

Kono was about to help her up when Steve finally set himself in motion. He quickly crossed the space between him and the two women, and, grasping Catherine under her shoulders, lifted her up into a standing position. She must have known from the feel of his hands that he wasn't Kono, because she turned around with a stunned look on her face, but mumbled her thanks to him nonetheless. She brushed some nonexistent dust off her loose white linen pants to dispel the awkwardness that rose between them every time they spoke – in that regard, today was no different. In an attempt to make the situation more comfortable, he looked past her and Kono to their handiwork.

"I see you're done with the dresser."

"Yeah, after we had figured out the crib, the dresser wasn't too difficult to assemble," she told him proudly, a wide grin on her face as she surveyed her and Kono's work. The dresser matched the exquisite crib in both simplicity and elegance, and the cream-colored cover of the small mattress embedded into it was a nice touch.

"Why did you get a crib anyway. I thought you use cradles at first."

"The cradle is the next thing to put up. I wanted to get the complicated stuff out of the way. As for the crib, I will have to buy one relatively soon anyway. Babies typically learn to walk within their first year."

"So you wanted to get a head start?", he asked, smiling. She had always been hyper-organized.

Catherine shrugged.

"What about you? How far did you get?"

"We're just waiting for the last of the paint to dry... Uh, we may have opened a window, and used a couple of hairdryers to speed up the process, but it'll still take another hour or so."

"Does that mean we can have lunch?", Chin's voice floated over to them from the stairs. "I'm starving."

Catherine didn't run into a half-naked Steve again, so she decided that lunch and the rest of the day passed without incident. When everyone was about to go home, she lingered near them, unsure of how to broach the subject. Eventually, she just handed everyone a small, pink bag. Five-0 looked at her a little funny, but she paid their curiosity no mind; she knew it would become clear when they opened the bags at home. Steve was the last who got his bag, and when he was about to cheat and peek inside, she stopped him by holding out something else for him. A quick look at what it was had Danny announce that they'd be waiting by the cars. Kono and Chin followed him out without protest, but confusion was edged onto their faces.

"What's this?", Steve asked as he took what appeared to be a book from her.

"Open it."

He did, forgetting about the small bag in his hand for the moment. Upon opening the pages, he realized that this wasn't what he had expected. Seeing a book being held out to him by Catherine, he had assumed it would be a parenting guide, but what he actually got was so much better. Skimming through the pages made a smile form on his face and his eyes sparkle with joy. The booklet was something between a_ 'My...' _book and a photo album. On the first page he found a picture of Catherine alongside one of himself. The pictures were accompanied by slightly caricatured drawings of a man and a woman, and the headline said _'My mommy and daddy'_ in bold letters. On the next page was a picture of Catherine's first ultrasound. He couldn't honestly say that he could make out their baby, but he felt tears spring to his eyes nonetheless. The book continued on that way. There were a few more ultrasound pictures, some photos of how he and her brothers had worked to turn the second bedroom into a decent nursery. She must have snuck in a picture or two when she came to check on them.

"I originally made this in case you ever changed your mind... when I still thought... well, I thought it would be fun to make. Turn the page over," Catherine instructed him quietly, and when he did, he found a small romper. It was snow white and unadorned except for the short phrase _My ... painted this_. **(1)** "That's what's in the bag. These rompers are meant to be painted by family and friends as well as the parents."

"Is that what you gave Danny, Chin and Kono?" His eyes shone with emotion.

"Yeah, well... Most of my friends are god knows where in the seven seas on some assignment, and I've sent them some, but... I know they are not gonna be here to have a baby shower. Danny, Chin and Kono are your ohana, and they helped put the nursery together. It seemed only natural to give them some as well. I like them, Steve. They mean a lot to me, too."

He had raised a hand to her cheek before he could stop himself. She had been unable to look at him, but the sudden contact made her head snap up. Brown eyes met blue, and there was only so much he could do not to kiss her right then and there. Instead he leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes never leaving her uncertain but steady gaze. His hand pressed itself more firmly against her, moving to partly cradle the back of her head. His nose bumped into hers, and he could practically feel her licking her lips in agitation. Her tongue lightly touched his skin by accident, and that contact alone made him almost give in. He wanted so badly to just kiss her until they were both panting for breath, but he couldn't ignore the slight note of panic that suddenly penetrated her gaze, so he moved back instead.

"Thank you, Cath...erine."

"You're welcome," she whispered, short of breath.

Steve studied her briefly. "Come with me."

"Come with you?", Catherine asked him, confused.

"Tomorrow. Let me take you somewhere. Just... just the two of us."

**End of chapter 10!**

**A/N:** Should she go, and where would he take her?**  
**

**(1)** I borrowed/copied that idea of the rompers from Gilmore Girls. I thought it was so cute on the show.


End file.
